Call to Arms
by OTHaddict
Summary: Haley Parker was happily married to the perfect man. But when WWII takes him away, she turns to Nathan Scott for support, and everything changes. Can she throw away her perfect life for a man who unexpectedly stole her heart?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hey guys! I came up with the idea for this story a year ago, and began writing it several months ago. I wanted to get a head start before beginning to post chapters. I can't promise chapters will be out in a regular fashion, especially with school approaching, but I can promise I will do my best. Though I currently do not have the whole story written, I know EXACTLY where I'm taking this and I'm VERY excited about it. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Let me know any thoughts, criticisms, or feedback of any kind. The more you give me, the more I can work from to improve and make you all happy. Thanks! Enjoy!

**Chapter 1**

Haley removed the lid of her lipstick, placing it carefully on the dark wooden dresser before painting a light coat of cherry red to her lips. Haley studied her face, something wasn't right. She looked in the mirror, searching for something missing. Then she remembered, reaching for her pearl necklace which was resting by the gold framed wedding photo. Haley smoothed out her soft curls, setting them aside, trying to get the clasp to latch.

"Haley?" A familiar voice called out for her.

She smiled, relieved and while still playing with the pearls behind her, she walked to the front hall where her husband was standing. "Can you help me with this?" She turned her back to him, holding the necklace out for him. He took the tiny gold clasp in his hands and carefully fastened it. He gently rested the necklace down against her neck and placed a soft kiss beside it.

"What are you so dressed up for?" He asked, as she turned back around and pecked him on the cheek.

Haley's jaw dropped, "Patrick Parker! How could you forget?! We have lunch planned with your mother!"

He shook his head, "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you this morning. We rescheduled."

Haley sighed disappointedly. All her life she'd heard nightmare stories about mother-in-laws, but Haley loved Elizabeth. They'd gotten along ever since they first met. "Why?"

Patrick walked past Haley, to the kitchen, "I have some friends who are in town who I'd like to meet you."

Haley followed him, "Wouldn't I have met them already? At the wedding, or at one of your business dinners?" She tried to speak evenly when she mentioned the dinners. Truthfully, she HATED them. The only reason Haley trudged through them with a smile was because of Patrick.

Patrick shook his head, "No, it's some guys I met at a recent event and their wives, and a couple of other friends who couldn't make it to the wedding."

Haley put her hand on her hip, "But this isn't a business dinner? It's just a regular night out?" Regardless, she knew she was going to go anyways.

Patrick nodded and shuffled through a stack of papers he had picked up from the counter, "A regular night out. Where's today's paper?"

Haley walked back out to the table in the hallway, retrieving the folded paper. She dropped the paper on the kitchen table near her husband's arm. Patrick sat down and began to unfold the pages. Haley knew he would be too occupied with today's news articles to tell her any more about tonight's company. She was halfway out the doorframe when Patrick stopped her.

"Hey, come sit with me." He didn't look up from the paper though.

Haley smiled, "It's okay, I don't mind."

Patrick frowned and leaned the pages downwards so he could see her, "No, please stay honey?"

Haley slowly walked over to the table and placed her hand on his shoulders, "Your mother keeps asking me when she's going to have a grandchild to spoil." She tried to hint in a tender tone.

Patrick was already back to reading his article, "We can work on that later," He mumbled in a far from flirtatious way. Haley knew it was a sore subject, and she knew she shouldn't have mentioned it, but she couldn't help it. She really wanted a baby but they hadn't been able to conceive during their eight month marriage. And after those failures, it had become a sore subject, and the trying became an avoided topic and a less frequent activity. Haley just wanted to regain the intimacy with her husband that they'd lost months ago.

Haley nodded and turned to the sink, she began to hum while putting the clean plates away. Patrick thought out loud, "It's not going to be long before we're a part of this war too you know."

Haley sighed with aggrivation, "Patrick, let's not talk about it." For Haley, this topic was equivalent to Patrick's dislike of talking about trying to have a baby. She avoided even thinking about it like the plague.

Patrick folded the paper and turned around in his chair to look at his wife, "What's wrong?"

Haley closed the cabinets, "I just don't like discussing it. It's terrible."

Patrick got up and walked over to her, placing his hands on her hips, "Don't worry honey." He whispered in a way that made Haley feel just as safe as she had the day she married him.

Haley turned back around and smiled, "Go get ready for dinner." She patted his chest lightly before turning back to the vanishing stack of clean dishes.

--

Haley squeezed Patrick's hand after entering the busy restaurant, a little overwhelmed at the idea of meeting a lot of new people yet again. Patrick's work constantly called for awkward social outings. She never liked his boring business dinners, where she always felt extremely out of place. He whispered to her, "Stop worrying."

Haley smiled as Patrick began to lead her to a big table in the corner filled with young men and women. Patrick smiled charmingly, "Hello! Sorry we're a little late. This is my wife, Haley." Haley smiled at the faces peering at her pleasantly. "Haley, this is John and Catherine Anderson, Christopher and Rebecca Grenwood, Andrew and Abigail Franklin and Nathan Scott."

Haley nodded and smiled at each of the couples and then at Nathan. Nathan was standing with his hands in his suit pockets, looking a little out of place among all the other couples. Haley sympathetically smiled and Nathan returned it with a silent laugh. Patrick motioned for Haley to take a seat between him and Nathan, who was awkwardly seated at the end of the table. Patrick immediately began to discuss business with John and Christopher and as Haley tried to chime in with the other young wives, she found it difficult when the topic kept switching to their children. Haley noticed Nathan fidgeting with his food. She leaned over and whispered, "Feeling out of place Mr. Scott?"

Nathan smiled and looked up at her, "Nathan, and yeah just a little."

Haley laughed, "You're not alone. Truth is, I can't stand these things."

Nathan was temporarily mesmerized by her smile. Her whole face lit up when she laughed, completely illuminating her already obvious beauty. "Why's that? No kids to gush about?"

Haley shook her head, "Not yet." She tried to stay positive and gracefully dodge the topic. "I'm a school teacher though, so those kids keep me busy enough."

Nathan nodded, shocked to find himself feeling almost relieved. "So you're not just the ordinary housewife than anyways? Of course you don't fit in with these women."

Haley shook her head and blushed slightly, shocked at his brutal honesty. She felt she had to exchange it, despite the rude nature of his comment. "It's just that I can't stand not having a purpose. I love teaching. It gives me a challenge, and it's important to me, to the kids, and to the future. Despite the fact that it's not normal for most women my age in this day to have a job, I enjoy it."

Nathan was surprised to find that her response didn't surprise him at all. He couldn't imagine that a lady like her would be like most women in any way, yet he had only known her for a few minutes, "I think it's great that you're different than most wives. I respect that."

When he looked up, ready to see those big chocolate eyes, they were instead squinted, staring at him quizically. "Wait, are you Nathan as in college basketball star best friend Nathan?"

Nathan laughed again, "Yes, Patrick and I were really good friends in college." That was understatement. He and Patrick were as close as roommates in college could be, but they hadn't seen each other in a year.

Haley nodded, "I've heard so much about you. Patrick wanted you to be his best man in our wedding, but you couldn't make it."

"I had to have knee surgery a week before. I'm so sorry, I wish I could've been there. Patrick really was a very good friend." Nathan was the star basketball player, always dating a different girl, while Patrick had been the over-achieving scholar, with a couple serious girlfriends. They were complete opposites yet for some reason, they got along better than brothers.

Haley laughed and teasingly raised an eyebrow, "Oh, I've heard stories about you Nathan Scott."

"I'm sure you have." Nathan had had his fair share of "fun" in college, to say the least, and Patrick had witnessed all of it. "But I'm sure you're no saint either Haley Parker."

Haley shrugged, "I'm pretty close." Nathan simply smiled in reply, there was something about her that he was stuck on. Something that made him excited, nervous, anxious and relieved all at once. Every detail about her was tuned to perfection from her ruby red lips to her shining curls, yet it was her natural beauty that amazed him like her dark chocolate eyes.

Two hours later after a steak dinner, and rich dessert, Haley and Nathan were still laughing and talking. They'd spent the whole night this way, completely wrapped up in their own little end of the table. And for the first time, Haley was actually genuinely smiling and enjoying herself during one of these business dinners.

"Haley?" Catherine was politely awaiting a reply to a question that Haley wasn't even aware was asked.

Haley stopped smiling at Nathan and turned to face the other young wives, "Yes?"

Rebecca finished the thought, "We were discussing the war and wondering does it bother you that Patrick is enlisted in the army?"

Nathan had completely, temporarily forgotten about him. This was his best friend's wife. The wife he was supposed to have met a year ago. He put the thoughts of her beauty and smile out of his mind and looked over to see her response. Haley's face had fallen, though she kept a faint polite smile there, "It certainly doesn't ease my nerves."

Abigail touched Andrew's shoulder, "See. That's what I told Andrew when he wanted to join; 'that'll be the death of me'. I just couldn't handle that kind of anxiety, especially nowadays with a draft right around the bend."

Patrick knew that Haley never wanted to talk about the war because she worried about Patrick having to take part in it. He discretely placed one hand on her thigh to calm her and looked to Abigail, "Haley handles it very well. She may not enjoy it but she's very supportive of my duty to serve my country."

Haley smiled at Patrick. She loved how he always knew what to say. She loved how he always knew when she was uncomfortable. Haley kissed him on the cheek lightly, causing an eruption of 'awww' from the other end of the table. She blushed a little and looked over to Nathan instead, only to find him staring intently at his coffee, no longer smiling. He was so much more handsome when he smiled. Patrick squeezed her thigh and then put his glass down, "Well, it was nice seeing you all but we better get going."

Patrick helped Haley out of the chair and held her coat for her as she slid her arms through the sleeves. She adjusted her hair and then smiled at the Anderson's, Grenwood's and Franklin's, "It was so nice to meet you all. We'll have to do it again sometime." Haley went over to kiss each of them goodbye.

Patrick waited for her and turned to Nathan, who was watching Haley say goodbye to Abigail, "I see you two got along really well."

Nathan's stomach dropped like a little kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. But when he looked over at Patrick, he was surprised to find the biggest smile on his face. Patrick looked over to Haley as well, "What do you think of her? She's great isn't she?"

Nathan could see the way Patrick's smile grew when he said her name. He looked at Haley laughing at something Catherine said. That smile was absolutely dazzling. She was more than the best. Haley Parker was the perfect woman. "She's the best. Good job finding that one." Nathan patted Patrick on the back.

Patrick nodded proudly, "One day you should find one like her Nate." He gleamed at Haley as Nathan couldn't help but think that he'd wish he'd found this particular one before his best friend had.

Patrick returned the hug as Haley appeared next to them, "We'll see you again soon I hope Nathan? Come by our townhouse for dinner sometime."

Haley nodded, "We'd truly love to have you. It was so nice finally meeting the infamous Nathan Scott. So don't be a stranger now." She pecked him lightly on the cheek.

Patrick then wrapped his arm around her shoulders and escorted her out the restaurant door. Nathan stood glued to the spot, completely at a loss for words, thoughts or movement, forgetting about the bustling restaurant around him. Patrick truly had found perfection. He sat down, breathlessly, and tried to shake these thoughts out of his head. Haley was married to his best friend. Haley _Parker_. Nathan reminded himself, trying to talk himself back into common sense. The only reason he felt this way was because he was just a little lonely right now, and seeing his best friend in bliss just made him a little jealous. His feelings for Haley meant nothing. She was an attractive girl is all, and they'd only talked for a couple hours. Nathan went to bed that night repeating these things to himself over and over, except when he closed his eyes that night he could still feel the butterflies in his gut.

--

Haley unzipped her dress, letting it fall to the floor by her feet. She looked over at Patrick, who was sitting on the edge of their bed removing his shoes, "What did you think of Nathan?"

Haley bent down, rummaging through the dresser drawer looking for her nightgown, "I really liked him. He's just like you described him, except he was a little more shy and charming and a little less crazy and wild."

Patrick laughed, "Yeah, he gets like that when he's nervous."

Haley placed the folded nightgown on the dresser and closed the drawer, "He's so sweet. Why doesn't he have a wife yet? That's so hard to believe with his charm and good looks."

Patrick removed his shirt, "Nathan's never been a one woman kind of man. Serious relationships have never interested him."

Haley walked over to him, not ready to give up and change into her nightgown just yet, "That's a shame, he's such a good guy."

"I love you for worrying about him, but don't. It's not your problem to solve. Nathan's always gotten by just fine by himself." Patrick kissed the top of her head.

Haley rubbed her fingers through his hair, "Even if he's afraid of commitment, I'm sure he gets lonely."

Patrick shrugged, "Maybe."

Haley smiled and placed herself in Patrick's lap. She bent down and whispered in his ear, "You though, have no reason to feel lonely tonight." She giggled and kissed his neck. Patrick sighed, and pulled her off of him gently. Haley studied his face, alarmed. Though they'd lost some intimacy over the past months, he had never rejected her quite so cooly. "What's wrong?"

Patrick kissed her forehead, "Not right now."

Haley's playful smile vanished as she got up and walked over to the dresser to retrieve her nightgown, accepting defeat. She slipped it over her head and was about to walk back to bed when she remembered her pearls. Haley fumbled with the clasp, clearly frustrated. She groaned and walked back over to Patrick, "Can you please help me with this?" She barked in a strained voice.

Patrick could read the agitation in her voice; he had upset her. He quickly undid the little gold clasp and then spoke gently, "I'm sorry Haley. It's not you, I just...have too much on my mind tonight." Patrick slipped his pajama bottoms on.

Haley climbed over to the edge of the bed and reached for Patrick's shoulders, concern winning over her temporary anger, "I noticed that. You've been so tense and distant today."

Patrick sighed and closed his eyes, holding his head in his hands, "I know, I'm sorry honey. I've been thinking about things."

Haley knew that voice, he was hiding something from her. She let her hands slip off his shoulders as she sat down on the bed next to him, "What things?"

Patrick sighed and got up, he turned around so he could see her. Haley already had anxiety written all over her face as her forehead wrinkled in further concern. "I have something to tell you."

Haley got off of the bed and walked over to him. She rubbed his arm, "What is it Patrick?" Worry flushed through her body like a warm tidal wave.

Patrick was staring intently into her eyes, trying to gauge her reaction, "I wanted to talk to you and my mother separately and that's why lunch-"

"Patrick. Please just tell me already." Haley couldn't take the suspense anymore, her knees were already beginning to shake.

Patrick nodded and cupped her face in his hands, "Haley honey, I've been called to duty. I leave in a week."

Haley's heart stopped, jaw dropped and knees buckled as her worst nightmare became a reality.

--


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. Once again, I'm very excited for this story and where it's headed. Let me know what you think. Please continue to read and review. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

Haley collapsed on the bed beside her, speechless. Patrick had expected a different reaction. He was ready for tears yet the loving supporting Haley he knew. "I'm so sorry honey."

Haley didn't respond, or even blink. Patrick ran his hands through his hair as he paced back and forth, "Please say something to me dear. Say anything." He stood steady with his arms folded. Silence was the only reply he received. "Haley. It's my duty."

Haley came back to life as she sprang off the bed, placing herself right in front of Patrick. Her face was growing hotter as she stared into his eyes. Haley suddenly swiped her hand across his face followed with a loud smacking sound. Patrick clutched his face, too shocked to speak.

Haley spoke quietly, but clearly, "It is NOT your duty. You ASKED for this. You didn't HAVE to do this. You're leaving me alone all to endanger your own life." Tears began to spill over her eyelids and run down her steaming red cheeks.

Patrick released his now equally reddened cheek, and looked at his small vulnerable wife, "Oh Haley. You know how I feel about this. My father died fighting for this country, and I feel that it's my duty to do the same."

Haley gasped, "See! You WANT TO DIE over there!"

Patrick shook his head, "Haley. I mean I want to fight for my country, I don't want to die, but it's a risk I have to take. I love you so much, but this is something I have to do. I know you don't understand it, but can you please try to support me?"

Haley bit her lip as she wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to hold herself together. After a moment she whispered, "What about me Patrick? What if you die? I...I can't handle that. I can't be alone. I need you. I love you. I...I can't be without you." Haley erupted into hysterical sobs as her body shook uncontrollably and her face crumpled.

Patrick pulled her into his arms and held her until she stopped, "Haley. I'm going to make sure that you are taken care of, but you going to have to be strong for me okay? Please, for me."

Haley wiped her eyes and nodded, "Just promise me one thing Patrick."

He nodded. "Don't try to be a hero. Don't do anything stupid. Promise me." Haley tried to keep her voice steady, because she wanted him to understand that she was completely serious about this. Patrick kissed the top of her head, "Haley, I love you."

Haley shook her head and mumbled, "No Patrick. Promise me."

Patrick sighed and stroked her hair, "I can't do that Haley. I'm going to do what I have to do."

Haley bit her lip to contain a fresh flood of tears before walking over to her side of the bed. Patrick followed her and gently picked her up, cradling her in his arms. He carefully placed her on the bed and climbed behind her. Patrick wrapped his arms around her small frame until her breathing had slowed and her whimpering had faded into a calm silence.

--

"Haley!" Patrick called up the stairs. She hadn't gotten out of bed yet and it was almost two in the afternoon. Haley ALWAYS got up at the crack of dawn, but not recently. "Haley, my mother will be here soon to have lunch with us."

No response. Patrick sighed, he had no idea she was going to take it like this. He didn't know what to do about her. She was inconsolable and he was going to be leaving in three days. Haley had spent the past four moping around all day until he came home, where she then wouldn't leave his side as if he might disappear at any second. Just then the doorbell rang. Patrick shook his head free from thoughts and turned the crystal doorknob, to see his mother, Elizabeth Parker.

"Hi Mom." He kissed her on the cheek and then guided her into the townhouse. Elizabeth looked around, "Where's my perfect little daughter in law?"

Patrick pointed up the stairs, "She's upstairs and she won't come down. I don't know what to do about her."

Elizabeth frowned and looked at her son. She and Haley had the same worst fear, and it was losing her only child. Elizabeth could see that Patrick was worried sick about Haley. She put her purse down on the table and opened her arms, "Come here."

Patrick stepped into her embrace and instead of resting his head on her chest like he'd done for 20 years, Elizabeth rested her head on his. Her tears began pooling on his clean button up shirt. "Mom, please don't cry." Patrick hated watching his mother cry, she was a stong woman, who rarely shed a tear. So when she did cry Patrick felt incredibly pained, especially when he was the cause of it.

Elizabeth laughed and looked up at him, fighting the few more tears forming. She stroked his cheek, "My beautiful baby boy, what are we going to do without you?"

Patrick smiled and gently removed her hand from his face, holding it to her chest instead, "You'll be fine but Haley...I never thought she'd take it like this."

Elizabeth wiped her eyes and nodded, "I'll talk to her. You have to understand though, that losing you is losing her whole world. You're my whole world too. But I'll be strong because your father would be so proud of you. Like Haley, I had to learn to be a soldier's wife, so just give Haley time, she'll learn to be brave too."

Patrick kissed his mother on the cheek again, "Thank you Mom."

Elizabeth nodded and began to make her way up the stairs. She quietly rapped on the closed bedroom door, "Haley, it's Elizabeth. Can I come in?" She leaned on the door, revealing a dark room with Haley curled up on the bed clutching a gold frame against her chest. "Oh honey."

Elizabeth took a seat next to her and wrapped her arm around her daughter in law. Haley wiped her eyes as she peered down at the wedding picture, "I'm so scared." She whispered.

Elizabeth stroked her hair sympathetically, "I know Haley. But you're assuming the worst. Patrick isn't dead. Right now actually, he's standing in the foyer, worried sick about his wife. You have three days left with him; enjoy them. Tell him you love him, and then all you can do is hope, pray and wait. But crying in your bed all day won't change, fix, or help anything. You're such a strong young woman Haley and I've always admired you for it. Be that woman that both my son and I love so dearly."

Haley nodded and sniffled, "You're right. You always are, Elizabeth. Thank you."

Elizabeth stood up and took Haley's hand, "Come on, it's time to get you out of this bed."

--

Patrick looked at the address written down on the paper laying in his palm. He looked back up at the mansion. Wow. The golden numbers on the side of the door matched the ones written before him. He opened the iron gate and walked up the path to the grand wooden door. Patrick gently knocked twice, afraid to break the beautiful home. A few seconds later Nathan's face appeared in place of the door.

"Patrick?" Nathan realized, opening the door wider.

Patrick smiled and shook his head, "Wow, what trouble did you get into this time in order to get a place like this?"

Nathan laughed and stepped aside, "Come on in."

Patrick walked forward, into the foyer of the mansion. He looked around, noticing that every inch of this place was decorated with the most rich, exquisite taste possible, "No really, who did you kill?"

Nathan closed the door behind Patrick and shrugged, "You should ask my father that. He probably did."

Patrick's smile faded, he knew all about Dan Scott. Dan Scott was the worst father imaginable, and possibly the most unpleasant man Patrick had ever met. "Where is the old bastard?"

Nathan shrugged again, "I don't know anymore. He was gone when I came back to this house to recover from my surgery. I'm guessing he probably ran to get away from this war, even if it meant abandoning his injured child," he stated matter of factly, instead of with the expected bitter edge.

"I'm sorry. But hey, at least he left you with this place." Patrick motioned to the crystal chandelier hanging above them.

Nathan laughed again, "Yeah, well, being here alone certainly beats being here with him. I don't need him. Never have, never will."

Patrick sighed, this was a good segue to what he came here for, "Well, I'm sorry I haven't seen you in such a long time, but I came here to talk to you about something."

Nathan grew serious again as his thoughts began to flood with possibilities. Was Haley okay? Did something happen? "Of course, we can talk about it in the parlor. Come this way." He turned to the left and led Patrick into a wooden paneled room with three red velvet couches centered around a burning fireplace. Nathan took a seat on one couch as Patrick sat down across him. "Is everything okay?"

Patrick sighed, looked down at his lap and then back up at Nathan, "I was called to duty. I leave tomorrow morning."

Nathan's jaw dropped as he stuttered for words, "Oh. Wow. I'm...sorry." He wasn't really sure about how Patrick felt about this but looking at his grave face Nathan just assumed he was upset.

Patrick shook his head, "Thanks, but that's not the problem. I was expecting this to happen soon. They're going to do a draft, and well, I'm already enlisted, so I was just waiting for it."

Nathan nodded, "Yeah, I've been reading the papers, and it's not looking good. I'd probably be drafted if it weren't for my bum knee." He pointed down to his left knee, which still caused him to limp a little.

Patrick sighed again and then placed his head in his hands. Nathan didn't speak for a minute. Patrick looked back up at Nathan, shaking his head, "It's Haley Nate. I...I don't know what to do. I didn't expect her to be like this...she's...she's falling apart."

Nathan felt his chest squeeze as he instantly pictured Haley's shattered spirit. He couldn't manage to reply. Patrick continued, "I've been thinking about it, and I don't feel comfortable leaving her like this and all alone. And if I spend all my time worrying about her while I'm out there, then I won't be able to focus on doing my job and staying alive." He blinked and then looked over to Nathan with the utmost seriousness, "I thought about who I could leave her with. Who I could trust to take care of her. But I realized most of the men I know will most likely be called out to duty soon too, and then I remembered your knee."

Nathan took a deep breath as he realized where this was going, "Of course." He spoke with hesitation.

Patrick bit his lip as his voice broke, "It would mean the world to me if you would look out for her while I'm gone. I know it's a lot to ask from someone who I haven't really been the most attentive friend to lately but...you're still like a brother to me, and I...I trust you more than anyone else anyways. And I know you live a pretty solitary life, so...there'd be nothing else in the way. I'm sorry. I know how that sounds but I just mean...I knew you could really look out for her like no one else. It just made sense, but I understand if you don't want to. It's a lot to ask."

Nathan repeated himself, this time louder and with more clarity, "Hey, of course I will. You're still a brother to me too. And after all the trouble you got me out of in college, I owe you." He tried to smile weakly.

Patrick smiled bittersweetly in response, "Thank you. Thank you so much Nathan. It means the world to me. She means the world to me, and I just need to know she'll be okay."

Nathan stood up and extended his hand, "I promise you, she will be. I'll look out for her, and be there for her until you get back. I promise you that."

Patrick felt his eyes water with relief. He stood up and instead of shaking Nathan's hand he engulfed him in a powerful hug, "Thank you."

Nathan patted his back and stepped away, "But you need to promise me something in return."

Patrick nodded eagerly, "Anything."

"Come back." Nathan said without blinking. He had a million emotions tunneling through his veins. But two of them overpowered all the others; He had to be there for his best friend, the only person who had ever been so close to him in his life. And he couldn't stand the idea of that beautiful, kind-hearted, strong, smiling brunette suffering. He would do anything he could to be her anchor. For Patrick, he told himself.

--

"It's time." Patrick whispered into Haley's auburn curls. She didn't respond, but instead he felt her cling tighter to him. "Honey, I need to tell you some things before I go though, so please listen. Okay?"

Haley nodded into his chest, a constant river of tears streaming down her face and onto his dark green uniform.

He spoke clearly into her ear, not letting his own voice quaver, "I need you to be strong, for me, for my mother, and for yourself. I don't want you to waste how ever long I'm out there by just being miserable. I want to remember you smiling, and find comfort in knowing that you're safe and happy. I won't be able to focus on doing my duty and staying alive if I have to worry about you too. Okay?"

Haley whimpered but nodded again. Patrick continued, "Good. Now, I'm going to write to you as much as I can. But I don't want you to write back. It could be too difficult for the letters to get to me and I don't want you or me to be disappointed. Like I said, I need to be focused. But whenever I'm not in danger, know that my thoughts will always be about you." Patrick paused, struggling to maintain his composure, "If you ever feel lost, alone, scared, or anything at all, know that I'm keeping my promise. I've made sure that you're looked out for. You're going to be okay. I'm putting you in trusted hands."

Haley was curious as to who or what he meant by this but she didn't have the strength to ask. Before she could even try, she suddenly realized Patrick was now looking down at her. She mustered up her courage to meet his gaze. When her eyes met his, the tears quickly multiplied as her lower lip trembled. Patrick stroked her face and kissed her oncoming tears away, "Haley. If anything happens-"

Haley whimpered again and placed her hand on his lips, violently shaking her head, "St-stop." She managed to whisper in the tiniest of voices.

Patrick now found a few tears stumbling down his cheek too, but he kept his face steady, though his voice was breaking, "If I don't come back, you have to know that I love you. You made me the happiest man in the world Haley James Parker. And I want you to move on if something happens to me, I want you to find happiness again, and not be afraid to love someone again. I would never hold that against you."

Haley finally managed to say something, because it was something she had to say, "Never. I never could."

Patrick shook his head, "I'm serious Haley. Don't say that. I want you to. Promise me?"

Haley shook her head until Patrick clutched her chin firmly, "Promise me."

Haley's face crumpled as she weakly nodded. Patrick kissed her forehead, "Thank you. I'll miss you honey. I love you Haley. I love you so goddamn much." Haley nodded and jumped into his arms, wrapping her's around his neck, she passionately kissed him in the way that you only saw in the movies. Patrick finally pulled away and slowly walked to the door. He looked back at her one last time, forced himself to smile, and then turned around and walked to the car parked in front, not letting himself look back again.

Haley clutched the door knob, watching until the car was out of sight. She walked back inside, not blinking, and closed the door. Haley leaned against it, feeling her knees start to wobble. Her chest was clenching up, as she realized she hadn't taken a breath yet. Haley gasped for air as her knees gave way and she fell to the ground. Haley collapsed on the floor, curled up like a baby, sobbing silently. She remained like that for what seemed like hours until a knock on the door startled her.

"GO AWAY!" She hollered, much louder than she expected to. She hadn't said anything above a whisper all day. Haley hadn't been able to.

The knocking continued. Haley felt herself transition from the darkest desperation to anger, "I said LEAVE ME ALONE!" She didn't move off the floor.

"Haley? Please let me in." A deep voice asked gently. Haley recognized it from somewhere, but she couldn't quite remember.

"Please, just do what I said and go away. I'm not taking any visitors for tod...for a while." She said weakly.

The voice continued, "I know, Patrick sent me though."

The unexpected mention of his name caught her by surprise, pricking her chest. She slowly crept up to her feet and wobbily opened the door, "N-Nathan?"

--


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews again. Keep reading and reviewing! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3**

Nathan watched the door slowly creep open, revealing a wetfaced, disheveled young woman with bright puffy red eyes, "Haley."

Haley sniffled, "Wh-what...why...Patrick...Patrick...he...he's gone." Her voice faded into a whisper as she was barely able to choke out his name. She felt her legs give way as her view faded into darkness and the ground swirled up towards her. Nathan saw her eyelids begin to close and immediately stepped forward, clutching her in his arms right before her body was able to hit the ground.

He had never seen anyone look so broken. Nathan adjusted her in his arms, scooping her close to his chest. He carried her to the couch in the room nearby. Nathan slowly rested her down and draped the blanket across her. He pushed her hair out her face and went back to the foyer to close the door. Nathan took a seat in the armchair across from the couch and sat there, watching her face fade into a peaceful state of unconsciousness, away from this world that was hurting her so much.

--

Haley felt herself being dragged back to consciousness as her eyelids fluttered open; her view was blurry. She was only able to make out a man watching her. She closed her eyes and smiled, "Patrick. I had the worst dream." Only when she opened her eyes again, instead of seeing her husband looking at her she saw piercing blue eyes rather than his hazel ones.

Nathan watched as the smile that had captivated him instantly fell from her face as realization hit her, "Sorry."

Haley sat up and took in her surroundings, "What happened? The last thing I remember is...is opening the door and seeing you."

Nathan nodded, "You fainted. I carried you to the couch and waited until you woke up."

Haley rubbed her face and smoothed out her hair, "Oh."

They sat in silence for a moment, neither one moving until Haley sighed and let herself fall back down on the couch. Nathan didn't say anything, he simply watched her. Haley closed her eyes, "I was hoping so badly that it was just a dream. I was sure it was."

Nathan wished more than anything that it was a dream of her's, just so she could be happy again, "I wish it was too."

Haley kept her eyes closed, "You know when I was a little girl, I used to have all these amazing dreams and I always remembered them. In each one I would have these little adventures where instead of being the damsel in distress I was the heroine, saving the world, making my dreams come true, and falling in love. I would wake up and feel so disappointed to see that I was just laying in bed again. I used to lay there for at least another twenty minutes, shutting my eyes closed as hard as I could, just trying, wishing I could get back to that dream. Did you ever do that Nathan?" She opened her eyes and looked over at him, waiting for a reply.

Nathan nodded, "Sure, except I was always trying to get back to being a basketball MVP or a cowboy." He remained silent after that, wanting to let her continue venting with her thoughts.

Haley laughed, startling Nathan. "Yeah well now look at me, not only do I wake up to find a nightmare but I'm not a heroine after all. Just a pathetic damsel in distress."

Nathan immediately interjected, getting off the armchair and sitting on the floor by the couch instead, "Hey. That's not true at all. You're hurting, but that doesn't make you a damsel in distress."

Haley sat up and raised her eyebrows doubtfully, "Look at me. I'm a mess."

Nathan shook his head, "No, you're a loving wife who's missing her husband."

Haley bit her lip as tears began to form again, "Well, I'm definitely not feeling like I can even be a heroine right now anyways."

Nathan shrugged, "So, everyone needs to be saved from time to time. Everyone has their weak moments. Even the heroes."

Haley's bottom lip began to quiver as her voice broke, "Patrick's going to try to be a hero, I know it. That was the one thing he couldn't promise me. He's going to leave me all alone forever."

Nathan stood up, "Hey, come on. You're not alone."

Haley shook her head, "I feel more alone and scared than ever. I'm falling apart."

Nathan extended his hand, "Let me help you."

Haley looked from his hand to Nathan's sincere face, "I don't think you can."

Nathan didn't move his hand away, "Let me try."

Haley didn't say anything, she simply placed her shaky hand in Nathan's and let him pull her to her feet.

--

Nathan placed a plate of scrambled eggs on the table in front of Haley. She looked like all the energy had been drained out of her, and he figured she hadn't eaten all day, "Sorry, I'm really not much of a chef. At all."

Haley shook her head, "I appreciate it, but I don't really feel like eating."

Nathan pushed it closer, "You need to eat. What have you eaten all day?"

Haley didn't reply. Nathan sighed, "Please? I promise they're not that bad. Well, they're at least edible."

Haley laughed dryly, "Ha. Fine." She reluctantly shoveled a forkful into her mouth. Nathan instantly felt relieved.

Haley began to talk, without looking at him, "H-how did you know to come today anyways?"

"Patrick came to me; he told me he was leaving." Nathan decided to leave out the part about Patrick making Nathan promise to watch over her, it sounded too...final. He didn't think she could take it.

Haley smiled faintly, for the first time that day, "So you're the guardian angel he hired."

Nathan shrugged and returned the smile, "I guess so."

--

"Are you sure you want me to leave?" Nathan was hesitant to go and leave her all alone the first night.

Haley nodded, she had the blanket wrapped around her, like a sheltered cocoon, "Yes. I appreciate you coming through with Patrick's wishes but it's not necessary. I'll be fine."

Nathan was trying to study her face, make sure she wasn't lying, "Okay, but if you need anything at all, you can always call me or come visit, or I can always come over. I left my phone number and address on the table behind you, okay? You're sure?"

Haley nodded, "Thank you. But I'd rather be alone tonight." She'd rather be with Patrick, but since that wasn't possible, she didn't want to be with anyone else.

Nathan waved, "Goodnight." He walked through the doorway as Haley closed the door immediately behind him so he wouldn't be able to see her fall apart all over again. She took a deep breath and walked back over to the couch where she wrapped herself up and stared into space, letting the empty void take over.

--

Haley laid like that, with her eyes wide open, until the sun began peeking through the windows. Haley thought about getting up for ten minutes before she finally managed to and went around the whole house, closing all the curtains. The sunlight was hurting her eyes. She wrapped herself back in the blanket and had just gotten seated again when the phone rang. Haley sighed and got up once more, still protected by the velvet green fabric.

"Hello?" Her tired, raspy voice called out.

"Haley?!" A much more chipper voice replied, shocked.

"Sorry, I'm not taking any calls for a while." Haley put the receiver back down, ignoring the voice calling out her name repeatedly. She crawled back onto the couch and stared into space. Then the doorbell rang. Haley was sick of moving, functioning in the slightest, "GO AWAY!"

"Haley Parker. Answer this door right now." Her best friend shouted angrily. Haley had expected more compassion, not anger. She groaned and once more, forced herself to her feet as the shouting continued.

"Haley Parker, I will break the door down if you don't open it in the next five seconds!!" She screamed into the wooden door.

Haley swung it open, squinting as the piercing sunlight hit her face, "What do you want Brooke?"

Brooke's jaw fell open, shocked to see her best friend look so...dead. "Oh my god. Haley."

Haley's face remained emotionless, "I'm not going anywhere. And I'm not taking any company."

Brooke shook her head, "Yes you are. I came here to pick you up for work. Remember? School?"

Haley had lost track of all time, let alone responsibilities. She was in no mood to do what she loved, "No. I'm not going today."

Brooke reached for her arm, "Yes, you are. Come on."

Haley suddenly, viciously, slapped Brooke's hand away, "You don't get it, do you?!"

Brooke looked like she was just slapped across the face instead. That's how it felt anyway, "Haley, what's happened to you? Patrick would be ashamed."

Haley clenched her jaw and in one swoop smacked Brooke across the face, "Don't you DARE say his name."

Brooke reached for her face, and then looked back at Haley, "I only came to help."

Haley began to spit back at her, her voice less loud but her tone growing colder, "Yeah well some help YOU are. Trying to force me to do things I don't want to do. That was really nice of you. You wouldn't get it anyways. You don't even have a husband. You're still fooling around like some college tramp."

Brooke shook her head and simply walked away as Haley slammed the door behind her. She was trying not to cry and just tell herself that that monster wasn't her friend when she bumped into someone. "Oh...sorry."

She looked up to find a handsome, dark haired man with deep blue eyes. He looked from the townhouse to Brooke, "You just visited Haley?"

Brooke instinctively brought her hand back up to her cheek, "Yes. Who are you?"

Nathan couldn't help but notice how visibly rattled this young woman was, "A friend of Patrick's."

Brooke nodded, "I'm sorry then, about your friend. But you don't want to go in there."

Nathan's eyes widened in slight alarm, "Why do you say that?"

Brooke shook her head and looked back at the house, "She's lost her mind. Haley's my best friend and I only came here to try and help but..." Brooke began to cry, "She's turned into a monster. That wasn't anything like Haley Parker."

Nathan sighed, instantly feeling guilty about leaving last night, "I'm sorry. I'm sure she didn't mean it."

Brooke shrugged, "I don't know about that, she said some pretty harsh things. If I were you, I wouldn't even bother."

Nathan nodded, "Well, I'm going to try. I'm sorry she hurt you though."

Brooke nodded, "Me too." She turned and walked away. Nathan took a deep breath and walked up to the townhouse. He knocked on the door. No response. He knocked again.

"Goddamnit! Go away!" Haley cried out.

Nathan was slightly taken aback but softly spoke, "Haley? It's me, it's Nathan. Please let me in."

Haley sighed, "Go away Nathan. I want to be alone."

Nathan tried again, "Please? I want to help you."

Haley bitterly spat out, "You don't even know me!!"

He leaned against the door, "You're right. I don't. But with the way you're treating people, I'm going to be the only one trying to anymore."

Silence.

Haley opened the door, wincing at the blinding light once more, "What do you mean?"

Nathan wasn't expecting to find her in worse shape than the day before, but she was living in a pitch black cave, her eyes were bloodshot, and she looked like she could barely breathe, "I mean, I just saw someone who really cared about you crying about the things you did and said to her."

Haley's hard face fell and shriveled all together, "I...I didn't mean to. It's just...I don't want to go around acting like everything is okay and normal...because it's not. It's not at all. And I'm not going to pretend it is. But Brooke...I didn't mean to hurt her." She let go of the blanket to cup her face as she began to sob. The thick velvet folded on the floor around her feet.

Nathan stepped forward and pulled Haley into him with one arm as he closed the door with the other. "I know. And Brooke knows. But that doesn't make what you did okay. If you don't want to hurt people you love...don't."

Haley nodded into his chest and sniffled. She pulled away and wiped her eyes, "Do you think she'll forgive me?"

Nathan nodded, looking into her bloodshot eyes, "Of course. But I think you should worry about yourself for now, and then when you feel better, apologize to her."

Haley nodded again. Nathan sighed and looked around for the nearest lamp; he flicked it on and then turned back to Haley. She was shivering, so he bent down, picked up the blanket and wrapped it back around her shoulders, "Did you sleep at all last night?"

Haley shook her head and then hesitated, "Well...I don't really remember."

Nathan figured as much, "And...have you showered at all? Changed your clothes?"

Haley shook her head again. Nathan reached for her arm and motioned towards the stairs, "Come on, that's what you should do."

Haley didn't budge, "No. I don't want to change. This dress...it still smells like him. I don't want to take it off."

Nathan felt his heart clench as her speech stuttered. He was trying so hard to help her put herself back together. All he wanted to do was make her feel okay again. He half-smiled, "Yes but if you don't change, it's going to start smelling more like someone who hasn't bathed and less like Patrick."

Haley laughed and sighed, "I guess you're right. Even though that was kind of harsh."

Nathan smiled and shook his head, "Maybe, but it got you to agree to bathe didn't it?"

Haley shook her head and headed up the stairs. She stopped and turned around, "I don't need help with this so please don't follow me."

Nathan raised his hands, "Wouldn't dare."

Haley shrugged, "I wouldn't put it past you, you're like a watchdog."

Nathan mumbled to himself, "That's the idea."

--


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys! Once again, thank you so much for the reviews. I love hearing back from my readers. If you haven't noticed I'm trying to stick to the routine of posting weekly, every Saturday. I'll try and keep it up. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4**

It had been a week since Patrick left and Haley had been the same. Every morning she would wake up and Nathan would come over. He would make sure she ate, showered, and he would sit in silence while she would occasionally talk. Every night he would ask if she was okay, and then he would leave and for the rest of the night Haley would stare into the darkness. Ever since she had scared Brooke away, no one had come to visit her besides Nathan. She knew she should call Elizabeth but she was scared to. She knew she wasn't ready to be strong for her yet, and she had promised Patrick she would. Haley was also scared to leave the house; afraid of the whispers, rumors, and judgment all the other wives would say and think. Haley was scared to go to work, afraid of all the pity, that even the children would be able to see through her, and see that inside she was dying. So Haley just went through the motions, and stay cooped up in her house. Haley was even too afraid to go into the bedroom. She was afraid of looking at their wardrobe, knowing that his clothes were in there. She was afraid of sleeping in their bed, feeling the space where Patrick was supposed to sleep. So Haley's whole world shrank to become the size of the first hall of the townhouse.

Today was the same. The sun was rising as Haley lay crumpled up into a ball on the same couch. Then the phone rang. She was expecting Nathan, but instead she heard the soothing voice of her mother.

"Haley-bub?" Lydia asked hesitantly.

Haley was side-swiped; she missed her mother. Tears she didn't even realize were forming poured onto her cheeks, "H-hi Mom."

"Oh Haley. You sound terrible. Your father and I are coming. Don't you even worry," Lydia began to ramble.

Haley shook her head, it was all she could do. She didn't want them to come. If they came she would have to put up a happy front, and she didn't want to pretend. She just wanted to stay in her dark little cocoon. "M-mom. It's really not necessary. In fact, I'd rather you don't come."

Haley could hear her Mom tsking her over the phone. Then she heard Lydia call out to Jimmy, "Jimmy! She doesn't want us to come. We should leave right away!"

Haley sighed. She should've known. Lydia came back to the phone, "Okay dear, we'll be there in a couple hours. Love you bub!"

Haley was going to say goodbye when she heard the receiver click. Great. She heard a knocking on the door. Nathan. Haley trudged over to the door, and sure enough, Nathan was standing there. "Hi, you know what Nathan, I don't even need you to come over today. My parents are coming, and I'm not sure I can take any more company than them."

Nathan tried not to let the disappointment show, "Oh, oh, okay. Are you sure?"

Haley nodded, "Trust me, they're...loud."

Nathan laughed, "Okay, but if you need anythi-"

Haley finished his sentence, "Anything at all call you. I know."

Nathan blushed, he felt like an overprotective father, "Sorry, I guess I get a little repetitive."

Haley laughed, "Yeah, but don't feel bad about it. Patrick would be...he'd be so happy about what a great job you're doing...taking care of me. So, don't feel bad. In fact, stop by later, maybe you can help keep me sane when my parents leave."

Nathan nodded and smiled, "Sure. Bye." He walked out as Haley shut the door behind him.

--

Haley had been sitting on the couch for an hour. Her hair was perfectly curled, her lips painted ruby red. She was ready to pretend so her parents would just let her get back to wallowing. Just like she was waiting for there was a rapid knocking on the door. Obnoxious, fast, and loud. Just like her parents.

She opened the door and was immediately stampeded by both Jimmy and Lydia. They were hugging her and rambling on and on about how sorry they were, and how great she looked. Haley kept a smile plastered to her face as if it was the only thing keeping her together.

Lydia took her hands and led her to the couch, "Okay honey, talk to me. How have you been?"

Haley smiled, "Okay. Getting better everyday." The lie flowed better than she had expected.

Lydia nodded, "Good, good. And how's Elizabeth?"

Haley felt the guilt punch her in the gut, "I..I don't know. I haven't spoken to her yet."

"Honey! You should call her. I'm sure you two can commiserate." Lydia rambled again.

Haley simply nodded. Her mother was right. She was being a horrible daughter-in-law. "I will. I promise." This time she wasn't lying.

Lydia nodded repeatedly, "Good, good. I'm going to go make some tea." She watched her mother walk up to her father and whisper, "Talk to her Jim."

Jimmy nodded and smiled, taking a seat next to Haley, as her mother trotted into the kitchen, "You know Haley-bub, going to war is something to be proud of."

Haley felt anger begin to swell, it was exactly what Patrick thought, and it was exactly the reason he was in a life threatening situation in the first place, "No it's not. It's stupid."

Jimmy shook his head, "No Haley. It's brave. I'm very proud of him."

Haley's fake smile quickly turned into a straight line. She shot out of her seat, "Thoughts like that are exactly why he went off to go get killed and be a hero. I don't want to hear anymore of it in my house." She motioned to the door.

Jimmy had never seen his daughter like this, but instead of scaring him, it hurt. He immediately realized that she was so far from fine. It was all an act, "Oh bub. You're not okay at all, are you?"

Haley had let her true colors show and as tears slid down her hot cheeks she tried to regain her happy composure, "I'm fine. I really am okay."

Jimmy stood up and shook his head, "You can say that all you want but that won't make it true." He reached for her but Haley stepped away, crying into her own shoulder.

"Stop it. I don't want pity." She mumbled.

"This isn't pity Haley. It's your father who loves you and just wants to help." He stepped closer and she took one more step back.

"Can...can you just leave? I really...I just want to be alone. Please?" She looked at him desperately.

Jimmy sighed and let his arms fall, "Fine, if that's what you want. We're not going to force our love or help on you. I'll get your mother."

Haley watched him go into the kitchen and she immediately felt terrible, causing her to sob more. She heard her mother arguing with him until eventually her father's even voice won out. Haley wiped her eyes and looked up to see them walk to the door. Her father walked out without another word but her mother stopped, "Haley-bub, we just wanted to help."

Haley couldn't look at her anymore, it hurt too much. She turned away and heard the door shut. Haley curled up into a ball right there on the floor until the ringing phone forced her back to her feet.

"Hello?" She said in the shakiest of voices.

"Haley? What's wrong?" Nathan asked, concern lacing his voice.

The sound of his voice, his kindness, caused her to sob once more, "I'm a h-h-horrible person Nathan."

"Hey, don't say that. What happened?" He asked.

Haley tried to get out the words, but saying them meant reliving what she had done, only leaving her able to sob. Nathan replied in a rushed tone, "Okay, okay. Don't worry. I'm coming."

Twenty minutes later Nathan was knocking on the door. Haley immediately opened it and walked right into his arms. "I'm a terrible daughter."

Nathan rubbed her back in soothing circles, "What happened with your parents?"

Haley whimpered as she struggled for air, "I did the usual. They were just trying to be nice and I scared them away. Just like Brooke. Soon...soon...I really will be alone! And it'll be all my fault!" She sobbed more.

Nathan shook his head, "You're not alone. I'm here, aren't I?"

Haley pulled away and rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well, it won't be long before I scare you away too."

Nathan stared straight into her chocolate eyes and shook his head, "You couldn't. I'm always here for you, okay?"

Haley's bottom lip quivered as she nodded and rested her head back on his chest, "Patrick made the right choice picking you." She whispered ever so quietly.

Nathan heard it though and his heart swelled as he gently walked them both into the townhouse.

--

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nathan asked as he placed a cup of tea in Haley's hands. He took a seat on the couch, across from the armchair where she was folded up.

Haley shook her head, "Not really. In fact, I'd rather get my mind away from it all. Tell me something."

Nathan shrugged, "About what?"

Haley thought for a minute, "Well, I already know all about your crazy college days. So...what about now? Any ladies in your life?"

Nathan smiled and shook his head, "No."

Haley raised her eyebrows as she sipped her tea, "Oh really. But you were quite the ladies man I hear."

Nathan shrugged, growing more serious, "Yeah, but that gets old after a while. After a while...you just want one person. The right person."

Haley nodded, "Of course. I figured you must be lonelier than you let on. Who do you live with?"

Nathan shook his head, "No one. It's just me."

"How long has it been like that?" Haley felt so bad for him. Look at her. She wasn't even completely alone, and here Nathan has no one at all, and he's just fine.

Nathan looked at the ceiling, calculating, "About a year I guess."

Haley couldn't believe it, "Well...do you have a job...something to keep you busy then?"

Nathan shook his head once more, "No. I used to be a basketball player but then I hurt my knee. So now I pretty much have to sit around until I can play again. It'll probably take another year to completely heal."

Haley put her tea cup down on the coffee table, "I'm sorry."

Nathan shrugged, "It's okay, I've managed. It can be hard though you know? First losing all my family. Then losing my dream."

Haley suddenly felt more sorry for Nathan than she had for herself this whole week, and that really said something for someone who had been wallowing in self pity, "So when you were little and people asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up...basketball was always it? Your fantasy career?"

Nathan nodded and laughed, "Oh yeah. What about you? Teaching?"

Haley laughed and shook her head, "Ohh no. I love teaching, don't get me wrong but...no...you're going to laugh."

Nathan was intrigued and curious now, "No, I won't. Please tell me."

Haley studied his face before beginning to speak again, "I wanted to be a musician." She laughed at herself, waiting for Nathan to join her. But he never did. "Oh come on, you can laugh. Patrick always has."

Nathan shook his head, not even smiling, "I don't think its funny at all. Why didn't you pursue it?"

Haley cocked her head to the side, giving him a look, "Oh come on, you and I both know that it's not possible at all. Especially for a woman. Especially for me."

Nathan shook his head again and shrugged, "No. I don't think that at all. In fact, I think that if any woman was capable of it, it had to be you."

Haley's smile fell. How was this great, caring, sweet, funny guy so lonely? "You think too highly of me Nathan. And I don't even know why. So far you've only seen me breakdown and occasionally be a horrible monster."

Nathan laughed, "You're a good person Haley."

Haley shook her head, "No, I'm not. And I don't know why you even think that."

Nathan nodded, "Because you go to those business dinners that you despise just because you want to support your husband. You've been breaking down because you have such a big heart that you can't even stand the idea of someone you love being hurt. You've been a monster because you're such a strong person that you're afraid of other people seeing you in a weak moment and you're too selfless to want to get them involved. Because you love your job, not because it's your dream job, but because you genuinely love helping other people."

Haley was shocked. She didn't know what to say. They're eyes interlocked for a long moment before Haley knew what to say, "You are not at all like the Nathan Scott I heard about."

Nathan laughed, "Oh god. I don't even want to know what you heard."

Haley laughed, "Honestly? Before I met you...I thought you were a crazy, insincere, heartless jerk who just went from woman to woman."

Nathan jokingly, pretended to waver backwards as if he was hurt, as he leaned against the couch, "Ouch."

Haley laughed, "Sorry! Have I mentioned I'm brutally honest? I told you I'm a horrible person!"

Nathan smiled, "No, you're not. I was though. I would've thought the same thing about me if I were you. In fact, I didn't stop being like that until recently. Very recently."

Haley could see his tone switching back to serious, "Why did you? What happened?"

Nathan stared into her eyes, getting lost in the dark chocolate swirls he loved, "My best friend came and asked me to take responsibility for the most important person in his life."

Haley was once again, astonished by his response. Because of her? She was the reason he was being so sweet? Not possible. He must have been like this all along, "Don't get mad if it seems like I'm psycho-analyzing you…but a guy as sweet as you can't just put on an act like this. You've been this nice guy all along...so what happened? Why the crazy-jerk facade?"

Nathan shook his head and laughed. Wow. She could read him better than anyone he had ever met in his whole life. And he'd only known her for two weeks. "You certainly have me figured out. It was probably my whole damned childhood. My mother left me and my father when she found out that one of his many affairs had led to another child. My father could've cared less, about my mother and me and even that other kid. So then I was even more alone. My mother didn't take me with her because after she found out, looking at me...she only saw him and she hated him. My father didn't talk to me unless he was pushing me about basketball. He took my mother from me, he took my childhood, he took my happiness, but the one thing I wouldn't let him take was basketball. So I ignored him, I stopped talking to him, stopped letting him get inside my head. Instead I would temporarily fix my loneliness with one tramp after another. I succeeded in basketball, and it was all because of me, not him. He tried to take the glory, but I just stopped listening to him. Then I got hurt and needed surgery. He paid for it but then I never saw him again. He told me I could recover at his mansion with him, but when I got there...about a year ago...he wasn't there. I think it's because he was afraid of the war and ran like the cowardly bastard he's always been."

There was a long silence as Nathan realized that he had been talking for what seemed like forever and had practically spilled his life story for the first time...ever. "Wow, sorry that was longer than I expected it to be."

Haley was staring at him intently, compassion apparent on her face, "No, no, don't feel bad. I'm honored that you shared that with me."

Nathan laughed, "I'm surprised I did too actually. I've never actually told that to...anyone...ever."

Haley got off the couch, "I'll return it with something just as personal." She began to walk away. Nathan got up and followed her.

"You don't have to do that." He called after her.

She led him to a dark room that was hidden behind the dining room. Haley turned on the lamp and looked Nathan in the eyes, "I know."

He waited to see what she was doing. Haley walked over to a cloaked...wardrobe it looked like and removed the cloth to reveal a small wooden piano. She took a deep breath, and took a seat in front of it. She looked over to Nathan, "Please, please don't laugh."

Nathan was completely serious, "I would never."

Haley looked back to the piano, closed her eyes, and let her fingers take flight. A slow, soft, melody filled the air. Just when Nathan thought it couldn't have gotten any prettier Haley's voice accompanied it, flowing like velvet. She sounded like an angel.

"_I love the time and in between_

_the calm inside me_

_in the space where I can breathe_

_I believe there is a_

_distance I have wandered_

_to touch upon the years of_

_reaching out and reaching in_

_holding out holding in_

_I believe_

_this is heaven to no one else but me_

_and I'll defend it as long as I can be_

_left here to linger in silence_

_if I choose to_

_would you try to understand"_

The music suddenly stopped, and the angel's voice disappeared. Nathan came back to earth and realized Haley was staring at him, "That's all I have. I know it's not much and it's not very good but-"

Nathan was shaking his head, "No, it's not much. But it's the best minute or so of any music that I've ever heard."

Haley blushed, "You're actually the only person who I've ever...performed for."

Nathan shook his head, "That's a shame, because you really have a talent Haley. You should finish that song."

Haley shook her head and immediately began covering the piano, "No, this is silly."

Nathan placed his hand on her's, "Please, for me? I really want to hear how it ends."

Haley looked up into his pleading blue eyes and caved, "Fine. But no one else hears it. Not even you. Not until it's finished at least."

Nathan extended his hand, "Deal."

Haley shook it, "Deal. Now I'm going to go to bed soon, so you should leave."

They said their usual goodbyes and as Nathan went to sleep that night he could still hear that angel's voice singing him to sleep.

--


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews again, though I'd really like to hear from more of you. Let me know what you think. Enjoy! **

**Chapter 5**

It had officially been one month since the day Patrick left. Every single day since then, Nathan had been carefully watching over Haley, just like he'd promised. They'd unexpectedly gone from strangers, to close friends. Haley spent less and less time crying each day, and Nathan couldn't have been happier to see her smile appear in each tears place. Of course, she still hadn't left the house. Or talked to Elizabeth. Or apologized to her family and friends. Or gone to work. But Nathan didn't want to push her. Baby steps, he kept telling himself.

Haley was cooking breakfast because frankly, she was sick of eggs, the only thing Nathan knew how to make. She heard a knocking on the door and pulled it open, "Guess who's making breakfast for a change?" She smiled at Nathan, but instead of Nathan, Brooke was standing before her.

"Oh, Brooke. I'm sorry I was expecting...someone else. Come on in though." Haley opened the door wider and closed it behind Brooke as she entered the townhouse.

"It's so good to see you smiling, Haley." Brooke said softly.

Haley nodded, "It feels good to smile too. Are you hungry?"

Brooke shook her head, "No, I was just coming to check on you. But you seem...a lot better."

Haley was about to begin her apology when she remembered the pancakes. "Oh no! Can you hold on one minute, I have something I need to say to you." Brooke nodded as Haley sprinted into the kitchen and quickly scooped the pancakes off of the pan and onto a plate for Nathan. She put down the spatula and darted back to the foyer where Brooke was still standing.

"I'm sorry about that. Can we sit and talk for a minute?" Haley motioned to the living room.

After they both took a seat on opposite ends of the couch Haley immediately began to gush out, "Oh Brooke. I'm so sorry about how I treated you. I didn't mean any of it. I know you were just trying to help, and the way I treated you was completely unacceptable. You're my best friend. I love you so much and I'm so sorry. I understand if you never forgive me."

Brooke burst into a smile, "Haley! I was just waiting for you to apologize so I could give you a hug and comfort you and talk to you! I missed you this month!!"

Haley scooted closer so she could hug Brooke for a long minute. Brooke pulled away and shrugged, "So...tell me...how have you been? What have you been doing?"

Haley didn't really know how to explain it, "I've been...better...a lot better. But I haven't really been doing much of anything. Just sitting at home. Nathan has been taking care of me. I don't know how he's put up with me all these weeks; I've been a nightmare."

Brooke was raising a hand, signaling for Haley to pause, "Wait...who's Nathan?"

Haley forgot that Brooke had never met nor heard of Nathan, "Oh, I'm sorry. He's Patrick's best friend from college. Patrick asked him to look after me, and Nathan has really honored that request. He's been my constant watchdog and anchor."

Brooke raised her eyebrows, "Ohhh. Was he that man I bumped into last time I was here? He was cute!"

Haley felt a weird sensation swell up in her, "Oh, I forgot you met him. Well, yeah, I guess he's handsome. But he's not available right now. Sorry Brooke."

Brooke sighed, "The good ones never are. What lucky lady snatched him up?"

Haley couldn't believe the words coming from her own lips, "I don't know. A girl he met in the park or something."

Brooke scrunched her nose, "Eh, park people aren't really my picnic anyways."

Haley laughed, "Yeah. Nathan loves the park." WHAT? Haley didn't even have control over the lies spilling from her mouth.

Brooke shrugged, "Well I should go. I'm going to the bookstore."

Haley stared at her quizzically, "Brooke Davis at a bookstore?"

Brooke laughed, "Don't worry. I'm just picking out a present for a friend from college. It's his birthday tomorrow. I'm throwing him a little party at a bar downtown. Want to come?"

Haley shook her head, "No thank you. But have fun! And Brooke, thanks for forgiving me."

Brooke hugged her again before leaving, "Of course. That's what best friends do." Haley closed the door behind Brooke and went back to the kitchen.

Brooke was on her way out, smiling at how well the visit had gone, when she ran into someone, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I seem to be doing this a lot."

Nathan laughed, "Yeah you do. Do you have a problem with me?"

Brooke looked up and erupted in laughter, "That is too funny. Well, I'm sorry again."

Nathan nodded and continued towards the house, "It's okay."

Brooke turned her back as Nathan headed to the door when she turned around and called out to him, "Oh, Nathan right?"

Nathan turned, "Yes?"

Brooke smiled, "Thank you."

Nathan was confused, he really didn't know her at all, "Excuse me for asking but...what have I done to earn this?"

Brooke pointed to the house, "I don't know what you did or how you did it but you're definitely the reason she's getting better. So thank you, for taking care of my best friend."

Nathan nodded, "That's kind of you, but I don't deserve a thank you. I don't mind watching over her at all."

Brooke waved and turned around, heading to the bookstore for the first time in a very long time.

--

Nathan was about to knock on the door when he noticed something sticking out of the mail slot. He reached in and looked at the envelope. Nathan's stomach fell twenty feet. Patrick. He placed it in his pocket before knocking on the door.

Haley immediately appeared and she was holding a plate, "I made you breakfast for a change!"

Nathan laughed, "Good! I'm so sick of eggs."

Haley laughed, "Oh, YOU'RE sick of eggs. I've been eating them for a month."

"I've been eating them for a year." Nathan trumped.

They sat down and ate breakfast together, laughing at some of the crazy things Nathan did in college.

Haley stood up and grabbed both plates, carrying them to the sink, "So, actually...I've been thinking about going back to work soon."

Nathan was so happy to see her like this. Smiling, hopeful and confident. But the letter in his pocket was burning a hole in his skin. "That's great Haley."

She looked over at him, "You think I should?"

He nodded, "Definitely."

Haley stepped closer, "What's that face? You're worrying about something."

Nathan was shocked, "What? You don't even know me well enough to know that face!"

Haley laughed, "I've spent over five hundred hours with you...I know that face."

Nathan laughed, "Wow, you really are a teacher."

Haley shook her head, "Hey. You can't distract me. What's wrong?"

Nathan sighed and reached into his pocket, "I found this stuck in a corner of the mailbox. I was going to give it to you right away, but I wanted you to eat breakfast first. I wasn't going to hide it from you, I swear."

Haley shook her head, immediately realizing it was Patrick's first letter, "Nathan, stop worrying. I'm not mad at you. Give me the letter." She extended a shaky hand.

Nathan clutched the thick envelope tightly, "Are you sure?"

Haley could only nod. Nathan carefully extended his hand so Haley could grab it. She took a seat and a deep breath. Haley was trying to calmly tear apart the envelope when she felt Nathan leaving. "Wait."

Nathan looked over at her, she wasn't looking up. "Yes?"

She moved the chair next to her with her foot, "Please come sit with me."

He immediately took a seat in the chair, studying her face, watching for any sign of a tear. He only brought his eyes away from her face when he realized her empty hand was resting in front of him, laying open, waiting for his hand. Nathan clutched it tightly as Haley began to read.

_Dearest Haley,_

_I hope you get this letter. I'm safe, I'm alright, and I'm unharmed. I miss you though. I think about you constantly and I keep our wedding picture tucked into the pocket next to my heart. I pray that you're happy, and living life the way I want you to. That means, going to work, seeing your friends and family and laughing. The thought of you suffering breaks my heart. So if you're still crying constantly like I know you were, please, please, laugh, just for me. I love your laugh. I figure by know you've realized Nathan is the guardian I set up for you. I know he's making sure you're safe, and as happy as can be. I actually have to say I'm proud of my little set-up. I know he's lonely in that mansion__of his, and that he can't be drafted because of his knee, and you're alone too now.__I hope you're both keeping each other company. It's terrifying over here, an absolute hell, but when I get to look at your picture and write you this letter, I feel safe again, because I'm closer to my lovely wife. Honey, if this is the last you ever hear from me, know that I loved you. I loved you more than you'll ever know. I miss you so much. Knowing that you're safe though, gives me comfort. Please smile when you read this, don't cry. Smile because I love you and I'm safe._

_Love,_

_Your Patrick_

_ps. If my mother doesn't also receive the letter I wrote her, tell her I love her. I hope you two are still close and coping together. _

_pps. I love you so much. Did I say that already?_

Haley didn't even realize she had tears streaming down her cheeks; she read the last line and laughed softly. Nathan was relieved to hear that sound. Haley looked up at him, "He's safe. That's all I needed to know."

Nathan smiled, "Good to hear."

Haley jumped up and clutched the letter her chest, "He's safe." She cried softly.

Nathan stood up too and went over to hug her but before he could she jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck, "He's safe!" She laughed.

Nathan did too and squeezed her gently. Haley pulled away and scurried off to the door. Nathan followed her, "Where are you going?"

Haley slipped on her heels, and wiped her eyes, "I need to go see Elizabeth."

Nathan nodded, "Of course."

Haley took a deep breath, she was well aware that this was her first public appearance in a month. "Be honest, how do I look?"

Nathan surveyed her. Her eyes were red and there were tear tracks down both of her cheeks. Her usually neatly positioned auburn curls were flowing freely down her back. Her lips had no ruby lipstick on; they were instead a natural dark peach. "You look beautiful." Nathan had never meant it more sincerely.

Haley smiled, "Thank you. Can you take me to her place?"

Nathan nodded and led her out the door and into the sunlight for the first time, "Of course."

--

"Haley?" Elizabeth asked in the most fragile of voices.

Haley was standing on the doorstep alone. Nathan was waiting down by the car. She was afraid of visiting Elizabeth, afraid of having to face her guilt of being distant for so long, afraid of having to be strong for her. "Hi Elizabeth."

Elizabeth reviewed her daughter-in-law's appearance. She stopped though when she spotted traces of tears, "Oh Haley." Elizabeth jumped forward and caught Haley in a tight embrace. Haley squeezed back, crying very faintly on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long." Haley whispered into her shoulder.

Elizabeth pulled away, "It's okay. You're here now."

Haley nodded, "Thank you."

Elizabeth wrapped her arm in Haley's and led her into the house, closing the door behind them. "How have you been coping? Tell me everything."

Haley took a deep breath before she began; she had always been able to confide in Elizabeth, more like a friend than a mother-in-law, "I've been terrible. I spent the first week sobbing in the cave I made out of the first floor of the townhouse. My friends and family visited and I treated them horribly. If it wasn't for Nathan, well, I'd probably still be curled up into a little ball trying to disappear. He's been patient, and spending every single day with me. I've been getting better since then, and I'm even considering returning to work soon."

Elizabeth nodded, staring intently until Nathan's name was mentioned, and then she smiled, "Wait a minute...Nathan...as in Nathan Scott?"

Haley nodded causing Elizabeth to erupt in laughter, "Well if anyone had told me that Nathan Scott would be successfully taking care of a young woman I would've never believed it."

Haley smiled, "Trust me, that's what I thought when I met him. But he's really quite a gentleman. Patrick told him to look out for me while he's gone. And Nathan's truly been my guardian angel."

Elizabeth's eyes began to water a little, "Oh yes, Patrick would do that."

Haley reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out the folded up letter, "I...I got this letter from him today."

Elizabeth got up, walked into the hall, and came back holding a similar looking piece of paper, "So did I."

Haley let a few tears fall as she got up to go sit beside Elizabeth, "How have you been Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth stared at Haley until her face crumpled. Haley's nurturing side took over immediately as she gently pulled Elizabeth into her chest, cradling her as she spoke barely above a whisper, "I've been just as bad as you were Haley. I tried, I really did for the first two weeks but then I couldn't do it anymore. I'm trying again, to just be strong and live. I kept telling myself it's just like when Richard went, but then I remember that he never came back, and I was left a widow. But now...if...if I lose Patrick, I'm truly all alone!" She sobbed out the last bit.

Haley rubbed Elizabeth's hair and shook her head even though she knew Elizabeth couldn't see her, "No, no, not at all. You always have me Elizabeth, no matter what happens."

Elizabeth sat back up and looked at Haley, smiling, "You're such an amazing young woman Haley. Patrick was very lucky to marry you."

Haley shook her head, "No, I was very lucky to marry the gentleman you raised." They both embraced for a long time, each clutching their own letters for dear life.

--

"How do I look?" Haley asked Nathan for what seemed like the millionth time to him. She smoothed out her dress, and looked at him, waiting for approval. It was her first day back to school and she was scared to death.

Nathan sighed, "Once again, you look beautiful, as always."

Haley groaned, "I'm losing faith in your judgment."

Nathan sighed, "Haley, I sincerely believe you look beautiful."

Haley stared at him doubtfully, "Alright, alright. Let's hope the rest of the world thinks so too."

Nathan shook his head, "It doesn't matter what they think. It's true."

Haley raised her eyebrows and laughed, "Okay, okay, I get the idea. I won't ask you anymore, I promise."

Nathan opened the front door, "Come on, you're going to be late. That's something you actually do have to worry about."

--

Haley had been teaching again for two weeks now, and every day Nathan drove her to school, and every day when she came home they would eat dinner together and she would tell him about her day.

"Oh Nathan, it feels so much better than I could have imagined. I feel like I have a purpose again." She was practically beaming as she finished describing her day today. Her smiling was contagious to Nathan; he couldn't fight a smile if Haley was happy.

"I'm so happy for you." He said before taking a sip of water.

Haley simply smiled at him, "What have you been doing during the days anyways?"

Nathan shrugged, "Nothing, just sitting here mostly."

Haley frowned, "Why don't you go back home? Don't you miss it? You don't have to wait around all day for me."

Nathan shook his head, "No, it's okay. I like it here much more than that mansion. It's terrible to be there alone."

Haley nodded, "Well you're welcome to spend as much time here as you like, even though I'm definitely under no need of supervision anymore. I feel fantastic."

Nathan raised his eyebrows doubtfully, "If you're so much better, why aren't you sleeping in your bed again?"

Haley felt her confidence fall, he was right. But the stubborn little girl in her took charge, "You know what, you're right! So tonight, I'll be sleeping in my bed again."

Nathan shrugged, "Alright, if you want to."

Haley stared at him challengingly, "I do."

--

After Nathan had left, Haley took a deep breath and opened her bedroom door for the first time in a month and a half. Everything came back to her as she saw the empty unmade bed, the dresser, and all the golden frames lined up. The memories hit her like a gust of wind, stealing her breath away. Haley closed her eyes, mustering up the strength, and shut the bedroom door behind her. She was determined. Haley opened the drawer with her nightgown in it, careful not to touch Patrick's drawers. She quickly changed and crawled into the bed. Haley took another deep breath and closed her eyes. She laid like that, with the sheets tucked close around her, praying she would just fall asleep already.

Then out of the complete, eerie silence, there was a loud thud. Haley's eyes shot open as her heart started pumping like a racehorse's. She immediately jumped out of bed and ran to the phone, dialing with trembling fingers.

"Nathan?!" She whispered.

Nathan had been asleep, "H-hello?"

Haley looked around her, completely paranoid, "Nathan! I heard a noise...can you come over to make sure it's okay?"

Nathan woke up immediately to the sound of her voice, "Of course, I'll be right there. Stay put, just in case."

Haley hung up the phone and crawled back into bed, where she waited, hearing only her own loud, rapid heartbeat. Until, the bedroom door swung open. Haley let out a little yelp, and opened her eyes, only to see Nathan standing with a bat. She sprang out of bed and leaped up into his arms. Haley wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Nathan dropped the bat and rubbed her back, "You're safe, it's okay."

Haley nuzzled her head into the nook between his shoulder and neck, "I lied."

Nathan didn't understand, but he waited for her to explain, just holding her securely against him.

Haley closed her eyes, "I still need you."

--


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks, again, for the reviews. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the feedback. So to be honest, when this story idea first came to me my intention was to only have Nathan and Haley as far as OTH characters went, but next thing I knew other characters just started appearing. I just couldn't exclude them in the end. Hope you like it though! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 6**

Another two weeks went by, and Haley received three more letters, each one farther apart and sounding the same. Yet they were still a small comfort to her.

After Haley had to call Nathan in the middle of the night, he just started staying over night too. Haley fell asleep with much more ease when she was cradled next to Nathan, she felt so much safer. Haley was fast asleep on the couch with Nathan asleep behind her when she heard someone knocking on the door. She wiped her eyes and carefully slid off the couch, making sure not to wake Nathan. Haley grabbed her robe, tied it around her and opened the door. "Brooke?"

Brooke studied Haley's appearance, "Oh, sorry to wake you."

Haley shrugged, "It's okay. What is it?"

Brooke bit her lip, "Well, there's a dinner party tonight and everyone's starting to ask about you, so I thought that maybe you should come?"

Haley sighed, "Is it just the ladies or couples?"

Brooke bit her lip again, this was the part she knew would make up Haley's mind, "Erm...it's couples. I have a date."

Haley shook her head, "No. I'll stay home. Thank you though."

Brooke pouted, "Please Haley! You can bring your watchboy!"

Haley laughed at the little name, "You mean Nathan?"

Brooke nodded, "Please Haley! I miss you!" She pouted her lower lip again.

Haley sighed, "Fine. Let me go ask Nathan."

Brooke raised her eyebrows in surprise, "He's...here?"

Haley nodded, "I get scared at night."

Brooke smiled, "Uh huh."

Haley rolled her eyes and said goodbye to Brooke. When she turned around Nathan was standing right there. "Oh, hello."

Nathan laughed, "Sorry, did I scare you?"

Haley placed her hand over her chest, "It's okay. That was Brooke. She wants me to go to a couple's dinner party tonight...which would mean..."

Nathan smiled, "Of course I'll be your date."

Haley hugged him, "Thank you! This would be awful to suffer through alone."

--

Haley squeezed Nathan's hand as they walked up to the front door of the Anderson's home. "They're all going to be judging me, and giving me those pity stares."

Nathan whispered back, "Don't worry about them. You look beautiful and they're opinions don't matter."

Haley nodded as the door swung open. "Haley Parker!!" Catherine exclaimed. She let them both in and kissed Haley on each cheek.

Catherine then turned to Nathan, "Oh Nathan Scott, how nice to see you." She was smiling at Haley and Nathan, but Haley could see the gears in her eyes shifting as she began to make her judgments.

Nathan smiled at her, "Thank you for inviting us." He then extended his arm to a very shaky Haley and led her to the living room where all the noise was coming from.

Haley whispered, "Thank you."

Nathan smiled at her before being knocked out of the way by a bustling little brunette. "Haley!! You came!! And with watchboy!!" Brooke shrieked as she squeezed Haley to death.

Haley laughed, "Hello Brooke. I'm going to go to the powder room. I'll be right back Nathan."

Nathan nodded as she walked away. Brooke was still standing beside him, "So Nathan, how are you?"

Nathan shrugged, "Good I guess. Mainly just watching after Haley."

Brooke shook her head, "Isn't your girlfriend jealous?"

Confusion became apparent on his face, "Girlfriend?"

Brooke's smile faded and she spoke a bit slower, "You know...the lady you met...in the park...?"

Nathan shook his head, "Sorry, you must have me confused with someone else. I don't have a girlfriend."

Brooke forced a laugh, "Oh, you're right, I'm sorry. Of course you don't." She was about to change the topic when her date appeared beside her.

"There you are." The tall, blonde man said as he kissed her cheek. He looked to Nathan, "Hello, I'm Lucas Roe."

Nathan extended his hand, "Nathan Scott."

Lucas laughed, "That's so funny, I know a Scott."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "A lot of people have that last name sweetie."

Haley appeared next to Nathan, "I'm back." She was suddenly aware of the blonde with his arm around her best friend's shoulders, "Oh, I'm sorry. How rude. I'm Haley Parker."

The blonde shook her hand, "Lucas."

Haley felt like she'd seen him before...there was something so familiar about him. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks, "LUCAS?!" She shrieked, alarming both Brooke and Nathan who exchanged confused glances before looking at Lucas.

Lucas' eyes widened with recognition, "HALEY?!"

Haley laughed and leapt forward, hugging Lucas. "Oh my god, I haven't seen you since high school!"

Lucas laughed, "I know, my mother and I were living in Virginia for a while but last year we moved here. How did you end up in this city?"

"I got married! I live here now." She was speaking in such a high tone, shock still overwhelming her.

Brooke interjected, "I'm sorry, so you two used to be...?"

Lucas focused his attention back to his date, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "I'm sorry, Haley and I were best friends growing up."

Haley looked from him to her best friend, still smiling, "I can't believe it. My old best friend is dating my new best friend. So how did you two meet?"

Nathan watched Lucas open his mouth but then before he could manage a sound, Brooke squealed, "Haley! Remember when I told you I had to go buy a book for someone? Guess who I met at the bookstore?!"

Haley laughed, of course, Brooke would meet someone in a bookstore, the last place Brooke would ever go. Lucas motioned to her and Nathan, "What about you two?"

Haley and Nathan exchanged glances and laughed, each violently shaking their heads. "Oh, no, no, no, Nathan is just a friend of mine. Actually he's a friend of my husband's."

Lucas looked thoroughly confused. Brooke was watching amusedly as a blush creep up Haley's face. Haley laughed again, "Oh, I'm sorry, this must seem so odd and confusing. My husband was called to duty, so his best friend, Nathan, is looking out for me while he's gone. My husband asked him to."

Nathan nodded uncomfortably. Lucas smiled politely, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought.."

Haley shook her head, still laughing a little too loudly, "No, no, no."

Brooke genuinely laughed now, it all made sense. Haley Parker had a crush. For the rest of the evening she watched Nathan and Haley carefully, the way they exchanged knowing glances, the way they would occasionally finish each other's sentences, the way Nathan looked at her when she laughed.

After dessert Brooke pulled Haley aside, "Can I speak to you in the powder room for a minute?"

Haley looked to Nathan and then back to Brooke, "Sure."

Brooke snatched Haley's arm and ran her to the bathroom, practically slamming the door, "Haley Parker!!" She shouted at a whisper.

Haley's eyes widened with alarm, "What?"

Brooke shook her head, smiling, "You like Nathan!"

Haley gasped and laughed, "What? No! Brooke, he's a friend. He's PATRICK'S friend."

Brooke crossed her arms, "A friend who sleeps in the same bed as you?"

Haley laughed, "Yes. And no, we sleep on the couch."

Brooke shook her head again, "Haley I know you. You're crazy about that boy, and you don't even realize it."

Haley opened her mouth to protest but Brooke continued, "First of all, you lied to me about him having a girlfriend because you were JEALOUS."

Haley wiped her hand across her face, stuttering, "That...I don't really know why..." Haley paused before exclaiming, "I don't have any feelings for him Brooke!"

Brooke sighed, staring at her best friend, "Haley. The way you two look at each other. He's just as crazy about you. And neither of you know it."

Haley did not dare to look away from her friend, "Brooke. I'm in love with my husband, Patrick. Nathan has just simply become a very close friend to me. That's all. Okay? I don't want to hear anything about this. It would be awful if rumors like that were started."

Brooke nodded even though on the inside she was still shaking her head. Haley was in such denial, "Okay. But Haley, even if it was true. I'm your best friend. I'm not going to hate you for it."

Haley nodded too, "Well, thank you, but it doesn't matter, because it's not true." And Haley told herself she sure as hell believed it.

--

Haley and Nathan were sitting in his car, outside her house. "Nathan, thank you for coming with me."

Nathan smiled, "Of course. It wasn't so bad...was it?"

Haley shook her head and smiled back at him, "No, not at all."

Nathan looked out the window, "We should probably get inside before the rain starts."

Haley was staring out the window too, a blank expression clouding her face. She was lost in thought.

Nathan leaned closer to her, "Haley?"

Haley jumped a little and turned back to him, "Yes? Sorry, you're right. We should go inside." Just then a few drops hit the windows.

Haley laughed, "Sorry, I jinxed it." Then in less than a second it went from drizzling to drenching rain.

Nathan laughed too, "NOW you jinxed it."

Haley looked at him playfully, "We should make a run for it."

Nathan nodded, "One, two, THREE!"

They both darted out of the car. Haley ran as fast as she could in her heels. Nathan turned around for her, swooped her up into his arms and ran to the front door. Haley was laughing hysterically. Nathan yelled, "Quickly, unlock the door!"

Haley fumbled for the key, giggling. She finally stuck it in the door as Nathan tried to bend down so she could reach it, stumbling a little, only causing Haley to laugh more. Nathan kicked the door open, walked inside, and kicked it closed. Haley's laughter was fading as he gently set her to her feet.

Haley looked down at her body, "I don't think running helped at all. I'm drenched." She ran a hand through her hair.

Nathan shook his head, water flying everywhere. He looked at Haley. Her dress was clinging to her wet body, droplets of water resting on her heaving chest. Her soaking wet hair was a beautiful mess laying on one shoulder. "Me too."

Haley looked at him, smiling. Then she closed her eyes and laughed. Nathan was curious, "What? Are you laughing at me?"

Haley shook her head, still laughing faintly, "No."

Nathan was smiling too, "What? What is it? Please tell me?"

Haley looked up at him, laughing, "Brooke...Brooke thinks that I like you."

Nathan's heart gradually began to pick up the pace. He laughed, "That's...ridiculous."

Haley nodded, "I know! You know what's even crazier?" She cackled.

Nathan shook his head.

Haley pointed at him, "She...she thinks you like me too!"

Nathan forced a very quiet laugh, "That's just...crazy."

Haley stopped laughing and her smile faded. "I know...it's crazy. Not possible."

Nathan's face fell too, his heart was going a mile a minute, but he couldn't take his eyes away from her chocolate ones, "Not possible at all." He whispered.

Haley was suddenly aware of how close they were standing. She shook her head and without even realizing it, took a step closer. Her body was moving on its own accord, "Never." She whispered.

A crash of thunder shook the house, as the rain continued to hit the house repeatedly, keeping rhythm with both Nathan and Haley's heartbeats. They didn't even notice. They were both just staring at each other, completely unaware of everything else around them.

Then, as if on their own will, Haley's eyes closed as Nathan bent his head towards hers. As lightning lit up the dark house with a flash, Nathan and Haley's lips met, sending a jolt of electricity between them. And just like the saying, seconds later after lightning flashes, a huge crash of thunder accompanied it.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews! Now, I realize my chapters haven't been the longest, but right now I'm in the middle of writing Chapter 18…and trust me, they get longer. I try to focus on quality not quantity. So I hope you all agree. Have a happy Saturday and enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

Just as suddenly as they came together, they pulled apart. Nathan's eyes slowly opened. He looked down at Haley, whose expression changed from bliss to shock and horror. Just then, Nathan realized what had happened.

"Oh." He mumbled, suddenly fumbling with his hands.

Haley's jaw hung open before she quickly looked away from him, "Umm, yes, so..." She looked to the front door, not having enough clarity at the moment to even speak properly.

Nathan nodded and awkwardly stepped closer to the door, "Right. I'll just..." He shook his head and quickly stepped back into the storm and closed the door behind him.

--

Haley stood, rooted to that particular floorboard in the foyer, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. She replayed the moment over and over in her head, trying to find blame, figure out who took the first step closer. But every time she tried, all she could see was Patrick. Haley shook her head, deciding to just pretend it never happened. She looked down at the gold band around her finger; that was all that mattered. That kiss meant nothing.

--

Nathan shut the door behind him and ran to the car. He sped off as fast as he could, just trying to get away from it all. The look of horror on Haley's face. The guilt of his betrayal to Patrick writhing in his stomach. He had just kissed his best friend's wife. His best friend who's off fighting in a war. Not only that, but Haley had become his closest friend. He spent every day with her. Now he'd be all alone stuck in that house again. But then he would be breaking his promise to Patrick about watching out for her. Nathan pulled over by his house. He let out a loud, frustrated sigh. He slammed his head against the steering wheel,

"DAMNIT!" He yelled out to no one but himself.

--

Haley had walked to the cafe alone. It was weird; despite the fact that her husband left two months ago, it was the first time Haley had truly been all alone. This was the first morning that Nathan didn't call, visit or eat breakfast with her.

Haley took a seat at an empty table for two, ordered a cup of coffee and waited. She was nervously tapping her foot when Brooke appeared, taking the empty chair.

"Well this is the first time in a long time that we've had time to get a cup of coffee alone. Where's watchboy?" Brooke tried to be discrete, asking politely about Nathan, but she knew sooner or later Nathan and Haley would realize they were falling in love too and she wanted details when something did happen.

Haley cursed in her head. Brooke knew her too well. She tried to play it off anyways, "I don't know, why?"

Brooke squinted her eyes, studying Haley. Haley was shifting glances and anxiously tapping her foot. Brooke gasped, "Something happened with Nathan!"

Haley gasped and jutted her foot out under the table directly into Brooke's leg. Brooke winced, "Haley!"

"Don't say something like that so loudly!" Haley snapped.

Brooke broke out into a huge grin, "So I'm right. Did he confess his undying love for you?"

Haley shook her head, "No, we just...well I...or maybe he...we kissed."

Brooke's jaw dropped.

Haley continued rambling, tracing her finger along the rim of her cup, "Just once. One little kiss. It meant nothing."

Brooke shook her head, "Honey, a kiss ALWAYS means something."

Haley shrugged, "Okay, well not this kiss. We had both had wine...and you planted those ideas in my head..."

Brooke cocked her head to the side, giving Haley a knowing look. "Fine, be in denial...but then at least let me hear details...was it good?"

Haley groaned, "Brooke! I mean it. This is…terrible. Nathan's become a really important friend to me…and now because of this one thing, I'm going to lose him. I just want to be friends again. What do I do?"

Brooke sighed, "Okay, okay. Just go talk to Nathan because he's probably scared to death that you hate him. Tell him exactly what you want; to forget, move on, be friends."

Haley nodded as Brooke added under her breath, "And your lover."

Haley caught that though and kicked her again, "Brooke! Just because you're having your fun with your boyfriend doesn't mean that that's what all women want with all men."

Brooke laughed but then her smile grew more serious, "Hey, actually, for your information, Lucas is...not like that."

Haley smiled too, and raised her eyebrows, "Is Brooke Davis actually in love?"

Brooke blushed, "...Maybe..."

Haley laughed and pointed, "You are! You're blushing! Brooke Davis is blushing!"

Brooke closed her eyes and groaned, but she couldn't stop smiling, "Haley! This is awful. I think about him all the time. He's not like any other man I've met. He's caring, thoughtful, AND fun."

Haley shook her head, "Wow. I never imagined you would fall in love with Lucas."

This time Brooke kicked Haley under the table. Haley jumped, "What was that for?!"

Brooke spoke quieter, "He doesn't know yet..."

Haley smiled, "Oh Brooke, you have nothing to worry about. I could see it last night; he's just as fond of you."

Brooke squealed, "We can do a double wedding!"

Haley glared at her and held up her left hand, displaying her wedding ring. Brooke rolled her eyes, "Oh come on. I'm kidding. But really, be honest, can you honestly tell me that you don't think Nathan is attractive?"

Haley shrugged, "I think he's a very handsome man."

Brooke shook her head, "That's putting it lightly. Haley, he's gorgeous. And he's falling in love with you."

Haley put her napkin on the table, "I'm going to have to ignore you completely now."

Brooke laughed, "You can try!"

"Goodbye Brooke." Haley said with a sarcastically sweet tone.

Brooke held a finger up, "One more thing honey. You know the saying, 'In wine there is truth.'"

Haley turned back, glaring, before heading back home. She took a deep breath as she walked back to the apartment. Haley was going to take a day off from Nathan. Get her act together, and speak with him tomorrow. A day couldn't hurt.

--

That Sunday felt like the longest day of Haley's life. She had no idea what to do with herself. Haley spent the whole day making herself busy with cleaning, organizing and other unnecessary things.

Nathan spent his whole Sunday wallowing. He had changed his mind a million times over what to say to Haley. He had even begun walking from his house to her townhouse several times, until he would change his mind and turn around. Nathan was miserable.

--

Haley was pacing, her heels clapping against the floorboard with each step. She turned to the mirror in the hall, "Nathan. I want to put what happened the other night behind us. We both had wine and it was a mistake. If we can forget about it and go back to being friends, that's what I would like." Haley nodded. She took a deep breath and swung open the door only to collide with what felt like a brick wall.

She looked up, clasping her left eye. Nathan was standing before her looking shocked, "Oh God. Haley? Are you okay?"

Haley laughed, "Brooke told me you have a tendency to literally run into people. You should really fix that problem."

Nathan didn't laugh, "I'm so sorry Haley. Here let me look at it." He gently removed her hand from her eye and leaned closer.

Haley groaned, "I don't really understand...did you elbow me in the eye?"

Nathan grabbed her hand and led her to the kitchen, "Unfortunately."

Haley was laughing now, "How did you ever manage to do that?" She was trying to blink her left eye back to life but when she did all she saw was a blurred image of Nathan standing at the sink. Haley closed her eye again. She drew in her breath quickly at the sudden chill of a wet washcloth Nathan had placed on her eye.

Nathan leaned against the counter as Haley sat opposite him in a chair, "I was pacing with my hands on my head. I was turning around to go back to my car when you came speeding out of the house."

Haley started to remove the washcloth when Nathan immediately stopped her, "Keep that on there. It'll prevent swelling and bruising."

"When did you become a doctor?" She teased.

Nathan shrugged, "I have a lot of practice with injuries like this because of basketball."

Haley nodded, "Right. So let's get to the real question. Why were you going to leave without saying hello?"

Nathan had been dreading this part. He paused, trying to think of the right words, "I wanted to...I needed to..." He groaned, "Haley, I'm bad with words."

Haley laughed, "I know. And I know what you're trying to say. Nathan...that kiss...we'd both had wine and if you're willing to just forget about it, move on, and be friends again, that's what I would like too. It didn't mean anything." She moved the cloth from her eye to see Nathan's reaction.

Nathan nodded, "Of course. That's exactly what I was trying to figure out how to say. Haley, I really enjoy spending time with you and I just don't want to lose our friendship over what happened that night." He said with the utmost sincerity.

Haley got up, leaving the washcloth behind and surprised Nathan by wrapping her arms around his waist, "Of course not. You've been the best support for me Nathan. One meaningless kiss isn't going to change that."

Nathan felt relief swell in him as he placed his hands on Haley's back, "Yesterday was miserable without you."

Haley laughed and pulled away, "God, you're a teddy bear. There's no way you're the same heartbreaker Scott I've heard so much about."

Nathan shrugged, more seriously, "Well, after a while you want something more than that kind of life."

Haley hadn't been expecting the sudden sincerity. She smiled comfortingly and patted Nathan's chest before walking away as she spoke, "Don't worry Nathan. One day you'll find someone perfect for you. She's out there."

Nathan inaudibly sighed and thought to himself, _I think she might be right here_.

--


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Here it is! Finally. So sorry about the break guys, but losing my hard drive was beyond upsetting. I'm going to do my best to keep posting/writing regularly. Thanks for waiting. Enjoy!

**Chapter 8**

When Nathan had been a little boy growing up he always loved Fridays. On Fridays his mother would read him a chapter from whatever book he picked out for them to conquer. On Fridays his father would joke around with him and teach him how to shoot a basketball. Fridays had seemed like the epitome of all happiness. But now, Nathan's favorite day had suddenly changed. Fridays just seemed like the beginning of something even better.

Every Saturday Nathan and Haley ate breakfast together and took a walk to the park, no matter what the weather was like. Since Haley had gone back to school, it had become the only day that they truly spent the entirety of together. Sunday would have been the same, except now every Sunday Haley visited Elizabeth, and Nathan just didn't feel right tagging along. So Saturdays had become the highlight of Nathan's weeks.

This Saturday they were doing exactly the same thing, strolling through the park as the always unpredictable March weather had suddenly changed from winter to the beginnings of spring.

Haley's face was beaming as she described a student who'd had trouble learning finally succeeding, "Oh Nathan! You should have seen it. The look on his face when he understood." She smiled widely, holding her hand to her chest, "It made all of the frustration worth it."

Nathan couldn't help but smile when she did, "I'm so proud of you Haley."

Haley looked at him, "No! Be proud of Paul!"

Nathan laughed, "Okay, sorry! I meant to say I'm so proud of Paul." He looked over and Haley was still reveling in her student's success. "So have you always been such a bookworm?"

Haley laughed, "Oh yes. My father would read to me all the time. Until one day when I told him that I wanted to do it myself. So he taught me, and I read nonstop after that."

"Wow, so you've always been this much of a dork?" Nathan teased.

Haley reached out and hit his arm, "Hey. Come on, what about you? What's your favorite book? I'm sure you have one."

Nathan shook his head, "Nope. But I know you do..."

Haley nodded, "Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice." She looked over to Nathan for a reaction.

Nathan shrugged, "Sorry, I haven't read it."

Haley shook her head, "It's alright, you're going to read it now."

--

After dinner that day, Haley forced Nathan to sit on the couch and read _Pride and Prejudice_. She plopped the book in his hands. "Read away."

Nathan pouted, "Please don't make me Mrs. Parker!" He mocked.

Haley put her hand on her hip and frowned disappointedly, "Oh grow up. Reading won't hurt you!"

Nathan let out a loud 'hmph' and picked up the book. He opened to the first page and forced himself to begin. It wasn't that he hated reading...it just wasn't something he particularly enjoyed either. Nathan had read the same sentence over and over again. He just couldn't focus when he was being forced to! Then he thought of something and smiled. "Haley?"

She looked up at him from her own book, a thick one with _Gone With the Wind_ scribed in golden letters, "Yes?"

Nathan tried to put on his most convincing face as he reached Pride and Prejudice out towards her, "I'm sure this would be much more enjoyable if you read it...to me."

Haley shook her head pretending to be ashamed, yet she was biting her lip to keep from smiling. After a moment she sighed, clearly giving in as she placed her own book down. Haley got up and walked over to the couch Nathan had spread himself across. "Move over then you big baby."

Nathan's smile grew as he gratefully moved over so she could sit by his feet. "Trust me, I haven't done this in a long time."

Haley giggled, "Oh. And who used to baby you this way too?"

He had laughed in return but his smile was bittersweet, "My mother. Every Friday. Fridays used to be my favorite day."

Haley loved how Nathan let her in, without hesitation. She never took moments of truth and honesty like this for granted, "And now?" She caught that he had implied that that changed.

He had been looking into the crackling fireplace, the only light source Haley had left for reading, but now Nathan's eyes were piercing into her own, "Saturday of course."

Haley stared right back as her heart paused a moment. She realized she was holding her breath and quickly looked away. Haley breathed in and began to read to Nathan from her favorite book. She continued to read for what seemed like countless hours, but Nathan didn't mind. The sound of her voice was soothing, almost like she was humming a lullaby, with the crackling of the fireplace as her background music. They had shifted positions numerous times, until Nathan was propped up on the edge with Haley tucked underneath his arm, using his own chest as her pillow. Not once had she paused though.

_"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." _Haley read Mr. Darcy's confession with flawless beauty. Nathan was waiting for her to continue, surprised that he was genuinely anxious to hear Elizabeth's reaction when he noticed Haley had stopped.

"Is something wrong?" He whispered. It had been the first time he had said anything since she started reading. Nathan hadn't dared to interrupt once.

Haley shook her head, "No, but I don't want to bore you. I've been reading for a long time; when do you want me to stop? I could read all night."

Nathan wanted her to do just that, "Then continue. We'll stop when the fire burns out." He looked over at the fireplace, still jumping with life.

Haley took a deep breath and continued reading. Her eyes slowly fluttered open to find a dim darkness. She was warm, and incredibly comfortable. The last thing she remembered was reading about Mr. Darcy running out of the room after Elizabeth's brutal rejection.

Haley looked around for Nathan, figuring that she must have fallen asleep reading and he had left to sleep somewhere else. She was about to get up and look for him when the warm surface she was resting on slowly moved up and down. Haley realized with horror that she had fallen asleep lying on top of Nathan. Her head resting right above his heart.

Without even thinking she gasped and before she could jump off, Nathan woke immediately. He shot straight up at the sound of her gasp, sending Haley tumbling off the couch.

Nathan had been in a deep, deep sleep, and was thoroughly confused. He bent over the couch, looking at Haley who was now laying on the floor. He pieced it together as he became more awake and Nathan's jaw dropped as he jumped off the couch to help Haley, "Oh my god. I'm so sorry Hales, are you okay?"

He was expecting her to either be hurt and in pain or upset and uncomfortable about the fact that they had fallen asleep laying on top of each other. When she removed her hands from her face, it was bright red and her face was scrunched up. Nathan's stomach dropped; she was in pain. "Oh God. It's okay Haley, where are you hurt?"

But then instead of crying, Haley erupted into loud giggles. She covered her mouth as her whole body shook with uncontrollable laughter. Nathan's troubled face switched to confusion, "...Haley?"

She was on the ground, unable to speak, simply laughing. Nathan sat down next to her, chuckling a little himself. Haley finally stopped and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry...I don't know why I find this so funny. I guess it's just that you're so protective of me but you have the tendency to accidentally hurt me."

Nathan frowned, "I'm sorry! I really feel badly about the elbow and...this."

"No, stop. I think it's really quite funny." She smiled.

Nathan shook his head, "You're crazy Haley."

Haley nodded and giggled once more, "I can see how you'd get that impression."

"Wow, well I'm relieved. I thought you were going to be really upset." He admitted.

Haley shook her head, "No, of course not. It was an honest mistake. But really, we shouldn't let that happen again."

Nathan tried to hide the disappointment that came with her words, "Of course not. Won't happen again."

Haley smiled, "Good. Now clearly, I should get to bed. But thanks for putting up with me forcing you to read. I won't make you do it again."

Nathan immediately stopped her, "No! No. I mean...I enjoyed it. You read really well. Please, don't stop."

Haley was pleasantly surprised, "Okay then, if you insist. Next Saturday we'll continue."

--

"Now let me give you a proper hug!" Lucas exclaimed as he lunged forward and squeezed Haley.

Haley laughed and kissed him on the cheek, "Luke! I've missed you so much. I'm so glad you're dating Brooke. It means I get to see you more often!" She had been sitting at her desk at school when Lucas made a surprise visit.

Lucas' smile grew brighter at the mention of Brooke's name. "Come on, I came to catch up with my best friend. We'll walk."

Haley packed up her things and gladly wrapped her arm through his as he escorted her out the school and onto the sidewalk, "So, how are you and Brooke? It's unreal that you two are dating."

Lucas laughed, "She's like no one I've ever met before."

Haley looked up at him and he was practically floating away right before him. "Wow, you've got it bad."

Lucas could only nod, "I'm trying to keep my dignity. But I'm serious about her Haley. Really serious."

Haley smiled and squeezed his arm, "That's great Luke. And...I really shouldn't say this...but so is she. She's crazy about you." She had almost said in love but Haley caught herself before she could even utter the first letter. It was Brooke's information to tell.

Lucas's smile exploded even wider, if it was possible, "I'm so happy I found her. What about you Haley? Mrs. Parker?"

Haley nodded and smiled bittersweetly, "Patrick is the perfect husband. I care about him very much. I also miss him too much."

Lucas had paused carefully, trying not to offend her, "You're in love with him?"

Haley laughed, "Of course! He's my husband."

Lucas nodded, "Right, of course. He makes you happy?"

"Very." Haley sighed, thinking about how sweet and funny Patrick could be. Even in his letters from war he always managed to make her laugh. Haley suddenly realized that she hadn't heard from him in a long time now that she stopped to think about it.

"Good. That's what matters to me. And um..." Lucas was debating whether or not to ask right up until the very moment the words left his mouth, "what about Nathan?"

Haley stopped in her place and glared at Lucas in horror, "Lucas Eugene Scott!"

Lucas winced at his full name, "Please don't tell Brooke that."

Haley didn't even recognize his request, "Has Brooke been planting those thoughts in your head?!"

Lucas shrugged as he tugged Haley along, trying to continue walking at their casual pace, "Honestly? Yes."

Haley grumbled, "Oh she's going to be in so much trouble when I get-"

"But-" Lucas continued, silencing Haley, "even a blind person could tell that there's something there."

Haley groaned, "Not you too."

Lucas sighed, "I'm just stating my observations."

Haley had removed her arm from his, and was now crossing her arms in a defensive manner, "Well, you're wrong. Very wrong."

Every voice in Lucas' head was telling him to leave it yet he just had to be sure, "So...um...the kiss? That was nothing?"

Haley's jaw dropped in shock. "Brooke Davis is a dead woman." She muttered before hitting Lucas' arm, "God! NO! It meant nothing, it was a drunken mistake."

Lucas had no idea why he continued to push it, "But sipping from one glass of wine doesn't get you drunk Haley."

Haley sighed, practically steaming as she stopped and glared at Lucas, her hands on her hips, "Lucas. I get that you love your girlfriend but will you PLEASE take my word over her's when it comes to matters of MY heart?!"

Lucas could tell that he had pushed her to the very edge. He extended his arm again, "I'm sorry, you're right. I was just checking."

Haley was still feeling on the attack and continued in a self righteous, defensive mood, "Well, I'm HAPPILY married to Patrick Parker, my HUSBAND, whom I LOVE." Making sure to place as much emphasis as possible on that last word.

Lucas raised his hands in defeat, "Okay, okay. You got me."

Haley groaned, "If you two spread rumors I swear..."

"Yeah, I don't know Haley...maybe seeing you today was a bad idea. You should probably stop spending all your time seducing unmarried men to save your reputation." Lucas teased viciously.

Haley rolled her eyes, "Why did I miss you again?"

--


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the support and feedback. You're all going to LOVE this chapter. Trust me. Let me know what you think, review! Enjoy!

**Chapter 9**

Haley was absentmindedly poking at the sizzling bacon on the pan before her as Nathan, seated at the table behind her, continued explaining how basketball worked.

"Do you understand now?" He asked, realizing that Haley hadn't interjected with a question in a while. She didn't show any sign of recognition, she just continued poking the bacon with a steady rhythm, swirling it around on the pan. "Haley?"

Haley's mind had wandered from trying to comprehend basketball to college, to Patrick, when she had realized it had been a long time since her last letter. Suddenly a jar of endless possibilities opened, each one more horrific than the last. Haley began to chew her lip, worry rising inside her like a tide as images began to accompany her wild imagination wild. She felt like she was no longer standing beside a stove, but rather in the depths of dark cave, seeming to get farther and farther in with each breath, until she was completely lost.

"HALEY!" Nathan's voice yelled, instantly pulling her from the depths of cave back to the stove.

She came back to reality and gasped, dropping the spatula by her feet. Before Haley could bend down Nathan was beside her, holding the spatula and reaching in front of her to turn off the gas, "It was burning." He mumbled an explanation.

Haley simply nodded and took some unsteady steps backwards. Nathan placed the over-crisp bacon on a plate beside the sink; his first concern was Haley. He stepped in front of her, gently grasping her shoulders, "What happened?"

Haley shook her head. She reached down for her left hand, and began twirling her wedding ring around her finger, "I just realized it's been a long time since Patrick's last letter. I have no idea how he is, or where he is, or what's happening. And then I just started filling in the blanks with all the terrible possibilities..." Her voice trailed off as she began to wander back to that dark cave.

Nathan saw her start to fade away into her worrying again. He gently tucked her hair behind one ear and stroked her cheek, "Don't assume the worst. He's probably just doing his job, and it's better that he's focused on that. If he was writing to you too much, he might get too distracted."

Haley nodded, and blinked away the puddle that had been clouding her vision, "I know, you're right. I just hate feeling so...disconnected."

Nathan racked his brain, trying to come up with something to close that distance for her; make her security blanket feel more tightly wound around her fragile body. Haley looked up at him to see that now he was worrying as well, "Oh Nathan. Don't worry about me. I'll just go to work. Get my mind off of it. Thank you." She leaned on her toes to peck him on the cheek.

After dropping Haley off, Nathan immediately got to work. He had a mission today; he needed to close that distance for her, make her feel safer.

--

"Goodbye Mrs. Parker!" A little boy yelled out as he ran by Nathan's legs. Haley waved him off as Nathan approached. "Are you ready to go?"

Haley smiled, she knew that look; Nathan was up to something. "Go where?"

Just like she expected he broke out into a mischievous smile, "I had an idea." He extended his hand out to her. Haley easily placed her hand in his, laced her smooth fingers around his rough ones as they began walking.

"An idea about what...exactly?" Haley asked hesitantly. She was never good with surprises.

"About this morning." He said quietly.

Haley shuddered, remembering her minor panic attack, "I'm sorry Nathan," She began before Nathan quickly interjected.

"No, Haley, don't apologize. I just hate that I couldn't help." Haley stopped walking, causing Nathan to pause. He was about to continue when she frowned.

"Nathan, I don't expect you to always make everything better." Over the past months Haley had come to understand Nathan, and when he was assigned a task, he was more than determined. Otherwise, why would he take his "guardianship" of her so seriously?

Nathan sighed, "I know I don't have to, but I want to Hales. You're the most important person in my life now, my best friend, and I just want you to be happy."

Haley shook her head and squeezed his hand, "My happiness is not your responsibility though."

Nathan shook his head disappointedly, "Haley, you are the hardest person to give a gift to. Will you please just accept that I want you happy and let me show you my idea?"

Haley smiled apologetically, "Sorry. Okay, what was your idea?"

Nathan pointed to the theater across the street from them, "There's a newsreel playing in a little bit. You don't have to watch it if you don't want to, but I just figured this was a way to close that distance. So you know what's happening."

Haley took a deep breath, "I didn't even think of that."

Nathan anxiously studied her face, "Haley, if you don't think you can handle it we can-" He started to ramble nervously.

Haley squeezed his hand again to regain his attention, "I can handle it if you're with me. Thank you for being so thoughtful Nathan."

Nathan smiled and her closer towards the theater. He, of course, insisted on paying for the tickets. Nathan escorted Haley into a seat and the whole while never let go of her hand. As the theater lights dimmed Haley whispered, "Don't let go." Nathan simply laced his fingers tighter around her's. He would never dare.

--

Haley sat quietly staring at the kitchen doorframe, still finding herself waiting for Nathan. She was going to be late for school if she didn't leave in the next few minutes, but Haley couldn't help but wait until the last minute. Nathan always came over for breakfast and walked her to school. But this morning Haley hadn't seen nor heard from him, and the silence was beginning to drive her crazy. She finally decided she was overreacting and convinced herself to stop worrying and go to work. Haley got through half of the day, but as the children were filing out of the classroom for lunch she found herself still nervous. She took a seat at her desk, trying to talk herself down, but only found her nerves being rattled further. This wasn't like Nathan. Nathan was always there. Why wouldn't he call? What if something happened to him? What if he's dying on the floor unable to reach for the phone? Without letting her mind wander farther she found her heels clapping against the tile floored hallway hurriedly, to the Nurse's office.

"Hi Haley." The nurse, Sarah, smiled as she looked up from her papers to find Haley appearing before her, out of breath. "What's wrong?"

Haley laughed breathlessly, "Hi Sarah. I'm sorry to bother you."

Sarah shrugged, "All the children are at lunch so I'm not busy at all actually. What can I do for you?"

"Is there any chance I could use your phone briefly? I just need to check on someone." Haley and Sarah had always gotten along. Sarah was a shy yet brilliant young woman and Haley found her easier to talk to than a lot of the other staff, who were much older and seemed less than thrilled with their jobs.

"Of course. Go right ahead." Sarah motioned to her phone. Haley immediately moved towards the desk and began dialing the Scott residence.

"Hello?" A stuffy voice answered rather groggily.

"Nathan?" Haley asked hesitantly. It didn't sound at all like his usual smooth, deep, clear voice.

The unfamiliar stuffy voice continued, "Haley? I'm sorry I didn't come over this morning. I'm sick."

Haley laughed as she instinctively put her hand over her heart, as if to tell it that it could stop speeding now, "Nathan, I was making myself sick worrying about what could have happened to you."

"I'm so sorry Hales. I just don't want to get you sick too. I feel beyond awful." He stopped to sneeze.

Haley's heart tempo changed from that of a racing horse to an occasional thud, slowing the more she thought about poor Nathan suffering, "Are you going to see a doctor?"

"No Haley, it's just a cold. I'll be fine." Nathan quickly managed to say before sneezing again.

Haley found herself worrying again, "Nathan. I'm coming over after school."

He instantly protested, "No! Haley, you'll get sick. I'll be fine. Don't come over. I'll call you instead."

Haley already had her mind set, but knew Nathan would not stop until he was sure she wasn't going to show up at his door in a few hours, "Okay Nathan. Feel better. Bye." She took a deep breath as she hung up the receiver.

Haley almost forgot where she was until Sarah's timid voice broke the short silence that had settled, "Everything okay Haley?"

Haley nodded, "Yes, thank you so much Sarah. I owe you."

Sarah blushed and shook her head, "Of course not. That's what friends are for."

Haley smiled and simply nodded, "Thank you."

--

Normally Haley would've been a little afraid of Nathan's reaction when he answered her knocks on the door, but she figured he was too sick to be able to be that mad. She tapped on the door and waited. Was he too sick to move? Oh god. Haley started to panic and walked back down the front steps, surveying the house for a way to enter. She found herself staring at the windows on both sides of the door. Haley was little...

She walked back up the steps and carefully leaned over the railing, trying to reach the window sill. Haley had finally managed to latch on and begin to pull the window up when she heard the door open, "Haley?!"

Haley jumped, and nearly fell over the railing if it hadn't been for Nathan's tight grasp on her waist. She turned around, "Nathan, you scared me-"

Nathan was standing before her, shirtless, looking alarmed. Haley was about to continue and ask him how he was when she realized that his body was glistening. "Oh my god. You have a fever."

Nathan didn't even respond to her realization, "What the hell were you doing?! Why are you here?"

Haley's shock turned to determination as she began to ramble, trying to plan out how to take care of him in her head, "You're sick so I came to take care of you, but then you didn't answer, and I got worried, so I thought maybe I could crawl in through the window."

"The window?!" Nathan's jaw dropped. "You almost fell over the railing trying to crawl in my window Haley?!"

Haley shook her head, dismissing his accusation, "That's not important. You're burning up." She placed a hand to his sweaty forehead, practically feeling the heat radiating off of him.

Nathan began to step away, "Haley, you're going to get sick. Please leave? I'm fine. It's just a cold." He expected her to argue and then grudgingly comply but Haley snapped back at him.

"Nathan Royal Scott. You are sick. You're going to let me into this house right now. That's not a question or a request, it's a demand. Now calm down and let me take care of you." Haley said pointedly as she sped right by him and into the house, mumbling something about a washcloth.

--

Nathan was laying on the couch with a cold washcloth resting on his forehead, and a box of tissues settled by his elbow. After Haley's little rant he had kept his mouth shut and done whatever she told him, and he hated to admit it, but he felt so much better. As if she could read his mind, Haley spoke up.

"Are you feeling better yet?" Haley asked quietly, taking a seat by his feet.

Nathan nodded, "So much."

Haley smiled triumphantly, "Told you."

Nathan sighed and rolled over to his side, sitting up a little so he could see Haley, while still pressing the washcloth to his forehead, "Haley, I appreciate you making me feel better but now you're going to get sick. You shouldn't have come."

Haley rolled her eyes, "Nathan, I can handle a cold."

"But you can prevent it." He looked more concerned than mad at this point.

Haley smiled, "No, I can't. You're my friend. I'm here to help you."

Nathan laughed, "Yes, you made that very clear before. God, you can be really feisty when you want to be."

"Tough love. You taught me that." Haley blushed, remembering her outburst.

He rolled his eyes and laughed again, "Right. Well when you get sick, don't complain to me." Nathan was too tired to argue or tease anymore. He rested his head back down and closed his eyes.

"I wouldn't dare." Haley said very quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he was trying to fall asleep. Several minutes had passed when Nathan felt himself begin to drift off to sleep, caught somewhere in between dreams and reality, both ends pulling him in a fierce battle of tug-a-war. Then he felt what felt like silk flow across his face. Nathan's eyes fluttered open and closed to reveal a blurry image of Haley.

"It's my turn to take care of you." She said barely above a whisper. Nathan wanted to respond but the dream side had finally managed to pull hard enough to make reality slip away.

--

"..._had been the means of uniting them_." Haley paused and took a deep breath, sighing as she closed the book, "The end."

They had spent the whole rainy day curled up on the couch finishing Pride and Prejudice at last. Nathan had originally protested against them sitting so close, still worried about getting her sick, but in the end neither of them could fight it and Haley was nestled against his chest as usual. The storm had gotten increasingly worse, changing from constant downpour, to thunder and lightning, until the power had gone out. The only light source was the dancing fire.

"I actually liked it." Nathan said, in awe of the truth in his own words.

Haley laughed, "I told you!"

Nathan groaned, "You win, you win. I'm not even going to argue."

Haley clapped and drowsily snuggled closer to him, placing the book in his lap and wrapping her arms securely around his waist, "We should stay at your house more often. I like your couch better."

Nathan laughed and rubbed her back, "You do realize that's me you're wrapped around…not the couch?"

Haley rolled her eyes before shutting her eyelids, "Yes." She said shortly, clearly not appreciative of Nathan's teasing. This only caused him to laugh once more. She chose to ignore his clear amusement. Haley sighed, "Are you feeling better?"

"Incredibly, how about you? You're coping okay again?" Nathan, of course, could care less about his own health and immediately went right back to Haley's concern.

Haley nodded into his chest, "I'm always okay when you're with me." The words flew out of her mouth effortlessly. It was just a simple truth, like stating that the sky was blue and the grass was green. So Haley couldn't figure out why saying those words had created a guilty swirl in her gut. Stating a simple fact shouldn't be a problem. Haley leaned away from Nathan ever so slightly, just so she could look up at him. Her chocolate eyes met his dazzling blue ones and as her heart fluttered at the sight of those eyes another truth hit her. Brooke had been right. Haley had feelings for Nathan. Feelings she shouldn't have. Feeling's she COULDN'T have. Guilt turned to horror which transformed into pure panic in less than a minute. Haley bolted off the couch and ran to the foyer, trying to get out as fast as possible.

Nathan jumped off the couch and ran to Haley, "What's wrong?" He practically shouted, just as panicked as Haley seemed.

Haley refused to let herself look at him again. She just needed to get away, NOW. Haley was struggling to get her arms into her jacket as quickly as she could manage. She didn't even know what to say to Nathan. All she could think of right now was getting home, getting to her home with Patrick. Her husband. The thought sent a new rush of blood through her veins, making the feat of putting on her jacket seem even more impossible.

"Haley?" Nathan tried again. What happened? She looked like she'd seen a ghost.

Haley gave up and violently thrust her jacket towards the ground, reaching for the door at the same time. "I have to go." She mumbled as she pulled open the great wooden door. Nathan froze, shocked. Had he done something to upset her? Nathan tried to replay the past hour, looking for something that could have made her need to run away. Nothing. Haley was already at the gate when he noticed she had actually gone out into this crazy storm. Nathan's instinct to protect her kicked in as he too bolted out into the lightning. The door crashed behind him as a crash of thunder shook the porch. Was she crazy?! Nathan sprinted to catch up with her, already dripping wet. He finally managed to grasp her arm, and yanked her around. "What the hell are you doing Hales?!" Nathan had to shout over the rain and thunder.

Haley still refused to look at him, "Nathan, go back inside. You're still getting better."

Nathan shook his head, sending what felt like a river flying off his hair, "Not without you."

Haley finally managed to look at him and when she did it scared him. Remorse, guilt and hatred welled beneath her eyes. Only it wasn't angry hatred, it seemed more like disappointment. Haley spoke, distracting him from her eyes, "I should go Nathan. I have to go."

Nathan didn't let go of her arm, "Are you crazy?! This storm is dangerous! If you walk home you could get killed. I can't let you go. What happened? Why do you even need to leave?"

Haley couldn't breath, this was awful. What was she thinking? Nathan Scott!? She was married. They'd kissed. They'd kissed and she wanted to do it again. Her panic churned to disgust. "Nothing." She lied.

Nathan shook his head fervently, "Something happened."

Haley didn't even hear him. She was replaying that first kiss again in her head, trying to piece together how they got from laughing to kissing. Who had taken the first step? Haley still couldn't tell but then she realized, of course, it was her. Nathan didn't like her. He was simply trying to do what Patrick had asked him to do. He takes care of her. "I'm the problem." She mumbled, barely audible beneath the storm.

Nathan was more confused than he had been in his entire life, "What?" She'd lost him ages ago.

Haley shook her head, disappointment with herself soaking in, "I'm the problem. I'm the reason we kissed last time."

Nathan's face fell, he had no idea this was what she was dwelling on. He waited for her to continue and after another moment of head shaking she did. Haley placed her head in her hand and then looked straight back at Nathan, "I just look at you sometimes and I just...I want to kiss you again."

Nathan felt the ground fall beneath him, yet he didn't seem to be going with it, he was suspended, floating in place. Haley laughed incredulously, "I know I sound crazy. And I know you don't feel that way. And you're my friend. You're not supposed to feel that way. I think it's just that I'm alone and you're here and..." Haley laughed again, but continued to ramble, "You're my friend. I'm not supposed to feel this way. You don't feel this way. That's why you're normal and I'm not. I'm terrible. I'm terribly wrong. I understand if you want me to leave now too. I think I should. This is wrong, and I know that this is completely one way. That's how it should be. I shouldn't feel this way. You shouldn't feel like that. You don't and I know that and-"

Nathan had stopped hearing her words the second she started to suggest that he didn't feel the same. How could she even think that? Didn't she notice the way his hands shook seconds before they held hers, like a drug addict about to get his fix. Couldn't she see him stumbling for air when she frowned? The way he would stutter after she laughed because he'd just get so caught up watching her talk and be happy. Couldn't she feel his heart jump forward when he looked into those deep chocolate eyes? Nathan shook his head, it wasn't possible for him not to feel that way around her. He stepped forward, despite the fact that he still felt like he wasn't grounded on anything at all. In one swift movement, Nathan gently pulled her chin up towards him, stopping her mid-sentence, and moved his lips into hers.

He closed his eyes and let himself float even further, sliding his tongue past hers. Nathan forced himself to pull away, and look at her. Haley was left breathless, her heart seeming to beat louder than even the thunder at this point. She gazed into his eyes, squinting through the torrential downpour. "You shouldn't have done that Nathan." She managed to whisper, not expecting him to hear it.

Nathan didn't dare to blink, not wanting to miss one more second of getting to look into those eyes, "I wanted to." He whispered, barely at a level above hers.

Haley nodded, forgetting thoughts, morals, worries, even the weather. The only thing she could see at this moment was Nathan. His dripping wet hair, forming pools on his now see-through white shirt, revealing his remarkable abdomen. The only thing she could hear was the booming of her heart crashing around in her chest, willing her to leap forward. The only thing she could smell was the scent of fresh rain, falling all around them, covering them both in layers and layers of water. The only thing she could taste was the sweet savor his lips had left behind on hers, causing all her other senses to seem null. The only thing she could touch was his chest, her hands still resting there from when he had suddenly come towards her. They had been her last attempt to resist. Now, not even they were willing to move. The only thing she could think about was how alive she felt at this moment. And the only thing she could say was, "Yeah." Almost breathlessly.

At that moment Haley couldn't win this internal battle. Not when every inch of her was gravitating towards him on its own accord. Every piece of her wanted him, more than anything Haley had ever wanted before. Worse than that, she needed him, every part of her needed to be with him at that moment. Haley was fighting a losing battle. Thunder crashed as the space barrier between the two shattered. Haley leaped forward, allowing herself to indulge, crashing her lips back against his, cupping her fingers around his neck, as lightning lit up their surroundings. Neither of them noticed.

Once Haley let herself go, she couldn't stop. Even worse, she didn't want to. Nathan slid his hand down her waist, pulling her tighter against him. Their wet bodies clinging like magnets that needed to be together. He gently pulled her up and closer to him, lifting her feet off the ground, and moved them indoors, without bringing his lips away from hers. Nathan was so caught up in her, all of her, he barely even realized what he was doing as they fell back against the door, closing it easily. Haley's chest was heaving up and down, as her heart struggled to keep up with their pace. She moaned quietly as Nathan led a trail of kisses down from her lips to her shoulders. Nathan spun them around so now he was against the door. Haley slowly unbuttoned his shirt, ripping it off him as she led him to the couch, the fire almost dead, only crackling occasionally.

Somewhere, deep, deep, down, Haley's conscience, mind, and morals were screaming for her to stop. But her brain had shut off minutes ago and had practically effortlessly handed the reigns over to her heart, which had already taken control of the rest of her. She knew that there were a million things she should say, but there were no words she could speak at this moment. All she wanted to do with her lips was touch Nathan's wet chest.

Nathan was mesmerized by her eyes, the second she looked at him, he was lost. Every muscle in his body was aching for her, wanting to hold her tighter, keep her closer. He wouldn't have been able to hear his conscience screaming at him if he was even trying to listen for it. Not when his heart was screaming so much louder, overcoming all of his senses, leaving him crippled in the best way possible.

So they both succumbed to the overwhelming force driving them together. They both knew it was wrong, somewhere deep down, but at that moment nothing had ever felt more right. So Haley and Nathan, both sopping wet and half naked, allowed desire to take the wheel and collided on the couch, too weak to have the strength to bear to pull away from each other.

--


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks again for all the reviews. They're always so thoughtful, I absolutely love reading them and I appreciate the input greatly. To be honest, I'm really falling behind with my re-writing but I'll do my best to keep posting weekly on Saturdays. Hope you all had a great Halloween. Read, enjoy and review!**

**Chapter 10**

Warmth. That was the very first thing Haley noticed as she slowly began to wake from what felt like the deepest sleep. It was as if she was completely surrounded by sunlight. Nothing could make Haley want to move at the moment. She took a deep breath, savoring how peaceful she felt. Haley felt like she was on a boat, in the middle of the ocean, soaking up the sun as it slowly swayed beneath her. Before she could let herself get carried any further away, her train of thought came to a screeching halt. Haley realized the surface beneath her really was rising and falling slowly. Tranquility turned to alarm as Haley saw Nathan's bare chest beneath her.

She was frozen; completely immobile. Haley felt like the walls were closing in and suddenly the warmth was suffocating her. She was trapped in an oven. Haley carefully crept off of Nathan, not daring to disturb him. She just needed to get out without any problems, complications or distractions. Haley quickly touched herself up before escaping out the front door from the inferno.

As Haley walked home, each step on the pavement made her head ache. She still couldn't escape. The heat was churning inside her as her stomach continued to twist into knots, each one tighter than the last. Haley picked up her pace, anxious to get into the privacy of her own house as hot tears fell from her cheeks.

--------------------

Coldness. Nathan shivered as an unexpected chill slid across his chest. He reached for the blanket with no luck. Nathan lazily swiped his hand across his face, accepting the fact that he had to wake up eventually. He moaned and rolled over onto his stomach, feeling as if he was being dragged by the feet back to consciousness. Nathan opened his eyes, realizing that he hadn't fallen out of bed. He sat up, staring in cluelessness at his surroundings. Nathan was half-naked, on the floor with a blanket. He was about to question how he got that way when it all came to him in a flash.

Haley's sopping wet body pressed against his as they crashed into each other in the dark.

Nathan closed his eyes and fell back to the floor. Shit. Shit. Shit. He groaned out loud again as he pieced everything together. Haley had most likely woken up, realized what they'd done, and immediately ran. She would be inconsolable, and completely stricken with guilt and self hatred. Last night was not her fault, but Nathan knew he'd never make her see that.

Whose fault was this? Certainly not Haley's. But it wasn't like he had seduced her or tricked her. Nathan had fought his feelings for her since the moment he met her. He had obviously never intended to fall in love with his best friend's girl.

Nathan's eyes shot open. Love. And just like that everything made sense and all of the confusion blurring his thoughts faded away. Nathan loved Haley. He knew that already. Nathan was in love with Haley James Parker. Love. He loved her more than anything in his life. It made everything clear. The reason he physically felt pained at even the idea of her being unhappy. The reason his heart could not seem to stay steady around her. The way just looking at her makes him smile and float. Nathan Scott was in love with his best friend's wife. Shit.

It was not anyone's fault that this had happened. Nathan and Haley had been bound to collide. After spending so much time and effort avoiding it, the only way they could ever touch had to be a sudden hardcore collision; a collision that shook the world around them. But what now? What is he supposed to do in the aftermath? Go on living his life as if nothing happened, or accept that everything has changed?

Haley would no doubt be crucifying herself for this. Nathan would not let her. He had to talk to Haley. He had to tell her that this wasn't her fault. It isn't his fault. It was just love. And neither of them could have stopped it, because they sure as hell tried.

---------------------------

Haley slid her finger along the gold band as she stared blankly before her. She had spent all day sitting in that spot, silently weeping. Haley had considered calling Brooke, but she was too ashamed of what she had done to even say it out loud. Not to mention, today was a Sunday and Haley just didn't have the heart to even call Elizabeth to tell her that she wouldn't be coming today. The thought sent a fresh flood of tears down her cheeks as her gut writhed.

Kissing Nathan had been bad enough, but this was truly awful, the worst thing she could do to her husband. How was she supposed to face Elizabeth without being reminded of the guilt she felt at this moment? How was she supposed to wear her wedding ring without it searing a scar into her finger? How was she supposed to ever feel good about herself again? Nothing would ever be the same.

Patrick would come home, and then what? What was she supposed to do? Pretend nothing happened and live a lie, or tell him the truth and hurt someone she loved very much? Not only that, but her friendship with Nathan was surely over. There was no way they could move past this. This was too much. This time, they had gone too far. Not only had they stepped over the line, they leapt far across it in one stride. There was no going back. And for that, Haley now has to sacrifice the one person who was able to piece her back together when no one else could, the one person who was always there for her, the one person who understood her completely and fully.

Haley crumpled further into herself. She could lose both the people she loved most in this world, her husband and her best friend, all because of lust. Haley sighed in frustration; it was such a silly thing to lose everything to. Just thinking about it made her heart sink. However, Haley feared that wasn't the reason at all.

------------------------------

This was not the first time Nathan Scott had stood in front of her front door, anxiously waiting and wringing his hands. But this time was very different from the first time. That time, the adrenaline pumping through his veins was fear. His biggest fear was losing his best friend, worried that she'd never talk to him again, that he'd be all alone again. The thoughts running through his head were jumbled and confusing, unsure of why he had ended up at her doorstep in the first place.

This time, though, Nathan wasn't confused. He knew exactly why he was standing here again. The adrenaline rushing through his body, tingling every inch, was excitement. Nathan now knew that he was in love and this time he wasn't planning on awkwardly confessing and trying to salvage a friendship. This time Nathan was ready to finally tell the woman he loved that he loved her more than he ever thought possible.

The wooden door swung open and Nathan's heart stopped. Haley's face appeared, red and sullen and just as quickly, it was gone. The slam restarted Nathan's heart as he was greeted with the dark brown wood once more.

---------------------

Haley didn't know how, but somehow she had managed to make it through to the next morning, where she was now standing in the safe haven of her classroom. A world she controlled completely. Her mind never wavered far from the subject at hand and her students, it never had the chance.

"Victor, do you know the answer?" She smiled, at the blonde boy raising his hand with uncertainty.

Victor simply pointed to the door, "There's a man staring at you."

Haley turned in horror to see Nathan peering into her classroom. Just like that, she lost all composure. Haley would've forgotten to even breathe if the rest of the world had stopped with her.

"Mrs. Parker? Is that Mr. Parker?" A little girl asked.

Haley swallowed as she let the reminder of her authority and control calm her, "No Samantha. Mr. Parker is fighting in the war. This man must be lost. Class, when I come back into the room I want you to have all figured out the answer." She forced her head upwards, trying to let her fooled confidence convince even herself.

Haley closed the classroom door behind her and the second the door clicked shut Haley let her anger out, "What the hell do you think you're doing here Nathan?"

Nathan was taken aback, he hadn't expected her to be so fuming, "Haley, you've been ignoring me. We need to talk."

Haley shook her head, "No, we don't. If you don't leave I'll report you Nathan."

"Hales, what happened the other night-" He began, ignoring her threat.

Haley interrupted him, "This is completely inappropriate. You frightened the children and I can not believe you would bother me at school. You should know better than that."

Nathan bit back, "I knew this was the one place I had a chance to talk to you. We need to talk Haley."

"Stop Nathan! Just stop. This…this is enough. I'm reporting you." Haley stormed back into her classroom and slammed the door behind her. She turned to explain to the class that she would need to direct the man to the receptionist but when she looked back at the door, Nathan was already gone.

----------------

The fork screeched against the plate, breaking the lingering silence that had settled. Haley cringed and dropped the fork. Her head collapsed into her hands. She couldn't pretend anymore. Haley was not okay. She had never felt more lost or alone. Haley walked to the phone, finally calling the only person she had left.

"Brooke?" Haley quavered.

"Haley? Are you okay?" Brooke's voice responded, clearly concerned.

Haley shook her head as she timidly cried into the phone, "No."

"I'll be right there." The line disconnected and Haley gently placed the phone down and completely collapsed into herself.

------------------

Moments later Brooke was sitting beside her, tightly cupping Haley's hands on the kitchen table, "What happened?"

Haley cried out in a shrill squeak, "Everything's falling apart Brooke. I can't take it back."

"Take what back?" Brooke whispered, trying to be supportive, soothingly rubbing circles on the back of Haley's hands.

"I slept with Nathan." She finally managed to confess, tears flooding her eyes, "I don't know what to do Brooke. I can't believe I did that."

Brooke sighed and sympathetically pulled Haley closer, literally offering her shoulder to cry on. Haley sobbed into the crook of her neck while Brooke smoothed out her auburn locks. "It's going to be okay."

Haley sniffled and lifted her head, "How can it be okay?"

"Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that." She really did, especially when it came to Nathan and Haley. Brooke had a positive instinct about the two of them. She always had.

"Lust. That's the reason. I'm alone. Nathan's an attractive man. This was all lust." Haley bitterly whimpered, wiping her puffy eyes.

Brooke opened her mouth but quickly closed it and simply stared at her friend doubtfully. She finally decided to keep her opinions to herself, "Have you talked to Nathan since…then?"

Haley shook her head miserably, "No. He keeps trying. He came to the house, he even came to my classroom. I sent him away both times. I don't know what to say to him." She immediately realized she knew what she had to say, but she wasn't sure if it was what she wanted to say.

"You should hear what he has to say Haley. You can't hide from him forever. He's one of your closest friends. He means too much to you to not give him a chance." Brooke knew Haley couldn't argue that.

Haley nodded, her eyes still watery, "You're right. Tomorrow. Not tonight. Tonight, I just need to be alone."

"Are you sure? I can stay. You know you always have me." Brooke offered before standing up.

Haley stood up too, "I'm sure. Thank you Brooke. I really needed someone." Brooke pulled Haley into a tightly wound hug, as Haley blinked away her remaining tears.

"Just do what makes you happy. Do what you're heart and head are telling you. Do what feels right." Brooke squeezed Haley's hand and left her best friend in the kitchen as she turned to the front door. "The rest will work itself out."

-----------------

Nathan determinedly headed up the front steps. He was going to talk to her, he needed to. Suddenly the door opened but instead of Haley, Brooke stepped out. She closed the door, looked up and gasped.

"Nathan. You scared me." She placed a hand over her heart.

"Sorry." Nathan apologized and smiled. "I came to talk to Haley."

Brooke sighed, "I know. She doesn't want to talk to you tonight. Try again tomorrow."

Nathan shook his head, and stepped closer, "Brooke, I _need_ to talk to her," his blue eyes pleaded.

Brooke sighed again and rubbed her forehead, "I know. But as her friend I need to tell you to leave."

"Please." Nathan whispered.

Brooke nodded, "Listen, if she asks, I sent you away but you forced yourself in."

Nathan smiled, he hadn't been expecting her to cave so easily. If Nathan had learned anything about this woman, it was that Brooke Davis was a strong, stubborn woman when she wanted to be. "Thank you so much Brooke." He walked past her but then stopped, "Brooke?"

She turned back at him.

"Why?"

Brooke laughed and smiled, "Because honestly, I'm rooting for you two."

Nathan smiled and turned back to the door. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and pushed it open.

"Brooke? Why are you-" Haley appeared from the kitchen doorframe.

Nathan stopped, his body flooded with concern as he took in her appearance. Her eyes were red and puffy and her hair was disheveled. Naturally she looked beautiful still, but a beautiful mess. "We need to talk about what happened Hales."

Haley struggled to regain her breath, as she shook her head and walked towards him, "No, no we don't. It was a mistake Nathan. It didn't mean anything. I'm lonely and you're a close friend. You're a man who's also alone. Lust. That's all it was." She rambled, looking at her feet.

Nathan shook his head slowly, and spoke quietly, "We both know that's not what it was."

Haley felt herself losing control as her heartbeat picked up the pace and her temperature increased, "No. That's all it was. We spend a lot of time together. It was nothing more than a mistake."

Nathan stepped closer, so that he was nearly towering above her, "It wasn't lust! It was love Haley." he insisted rather angrily, causing Haley to finally look into his blue eyes, which had switched from piercing intensity to sincerity.

Haley swallowed as Nathan continued in a smaller voice, "I love you Haley. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything. I love you with everything in me and I need you Hales. We need each other."

The words about to come out of Haley's mouth were like poison. She knew that they were exactly what she needed to say. But saying them felt like the most unnatural thing in the world. Even thinking them hurt her. She felt like her heart was being squeezed until it could only beat to keep her alive on a minimal level. But she knew they were the words she needed to say; the words that would hurt him just as much they hurt her; the words that could make her heart stop all together. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she slowly muttered, "I don't love you. Our friendship is over. I mean it. I never want to see you again Nathan Scott."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Hey guys! I'm so sorry it's been FOREVER. Since my computer crashed, not only do I have to painfully rewrite and make up new material from the parts I can't remember, while trying to stay close to my original plan, but after I write my beta usually needs a week to edit. It's a bit of a process. But hopefully this chapter is worth the wait! I promise I'm doing my best and I appreciate you guys sticking with me. Thank you so much! Please, please, please read and review! I love hearing your thoughts. Enjoy!

**Chapter 11**

"Haley?" Brooke's light voice caused Haley to jump, leaving the spoon she had been swirling around in her coffee to crash to the ground.

"Where are you?" Brooke asked, shaking her head.

Haley replied in a monotone, "I'm right here."

Brooke sighed, "No, no you're not. You haven't been 'here' for the past two weeks."

Haley winced and placed her spoon beside her cup, she finally looked up, "Have you heard from Lucas?"

Brooke stared back into her empty face, and sighed, "Yes, he's safe."

"How have you been handling it?" Haley genuinely asked, understanding what Brooke must be feeling, the same void that was slowly eating away inside her. The void that had started when Patrick walked away, that continued to grow as Nathan walked away and then when Lucas was called to duty and had to walk away from her too.

Brooke smiled, "I'm not worrying until I have to."

Haley noticed something in Brooke's eye, a little twinkle of delight, "Brooke, what aren't you telling me?"

Brooke blushed and shook her head, the smile falling from her face, "Nothing."

Haley leaned closer, "You're hiding something. I know you Brooke Davis."

Brooke bit her lip as she fidgeted with her left hand and slowly held it out to Haley, "Soon to be Scott." She whispered.

A beautiful square diamond caught the sunlight, making Haley's eyes widen, "Oh my gosh. Brooke. Why didn't you tell me?"

Brooke pulled her hand away, "I felt bad." She confessed.

Haley frowned, "Brooke, I'm happy for you. You have no reason to feel bad."

"Yes, I do. You're falling apart while all of my dreams are coming true and I'm marrying the man I love. I didn't have the heart to tell you." Brooke sheepishly admitted.

Haley felt the wall around her shriveled heart burst, "I'm not falling apart." She lied in a small voice.

Brooke sighed and reached for Haley's hand, "You love him Haley. It's not your fault. You didn't plan on it. Stop punishing yourself."

Haley fought the tears and shook her head, "I cheated on my husband. I can't be around Nathan anymore. I'm fine."

"Haley, you need Nathan and he needs you. I've seen what he does for you, and how he protects you, and makes you laugh. And I know you're scared and confused because you're not supposed to be in love again, but I'm worried about you. You're becoming a ghost." Brooke had been afraid to say it out loud, but looking at the pale frail figure beside her that used to be a strong, vibrant young woman frightened her.

Haley simply whispered, "I don't need him," as she ignored the tears burning in her eyes.

---------------------

Her hands were moving a mile a minute; she was desperate to keep them mobile, to keep her mind distracted. Haley had no need to clean the house, except for her own sanity. She was simply reorganizing anything that could be reorganized. Haley just couldn't sit around anymore. She didn't need him. She wasn't going to pause her life because of him.

It was a Saturday night and Haley was doing everything to forget it. She couldn't stand Saturdays anymore, they were too long, too haunted. So Haley cleaned. She needed to do something.

Haley's current distraction was the bookcase. She respected and adored her books with the tender love of a mother. Haley loved books that took her to another place, let her walk in someone else's shoes, and feel the same way the characters felt. Books spoke to Haley; they pulled her in and took her with them. She placed the final book in its alphabetical spot and sighed with satisfaction. Haley stepped back to survey her work when she noticed a fallen frame on the top shelf. She leaned forward on her bare tippy-toes as she propped the smiling faces of her siblings up towards her and in the process knocked down several books.

Muttering under her breath, Haley snatched them back up and struggled to place them where they belonged. She once more, breathed a sigh of relief when she realized she had forgotten one that had fallen open when it landed, bending the spine backwards. She carefully picked it up and her breath halted as she realized which book it was. Of course. _Pride and Prejudice. _

Haley knew she should have just shut her beloved book and continued to occupy her wandering mind but she knew she wouldn't. The page was open to Chapter 34. Haley's heart melted as she whispered the words she knew so well, "In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feeling will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." Mr. Darcy's confession.

Though she knew the entire book nearly word for word, and every single time she had read Elizabeth Bennett's rejection, her heart cried out for poor Mr. Darcy. His confession had never hurt her quite like the words did this time, like a small pin prick. Haley bit her lip as she allowed herself to read through the rest of the chapter.

Tears were rolling down Haley's cheeks as she now sat beside the bookcase reading the last paragraph, "The tumult of her mind was now painfully great. She knew not how to support herself, and from actual weakness sat down and cried for half-an-hour." She slammed the book before she could finish the paragraph. For the first time Haley hated the connection she felt to the words on the page before her. She bit her lip and tucked the book away, deciding to clean the fireplace instead.

-------------------

She had been avoiding it all week, despite the fact that every time she walked by that tucked away room, Haley thought about going in. She still had half her song written, and she felt drawn to the piano. But Haley was afraid of the sincerity that would flow from her fingertips as they danced along the keys.

Haley shrugged her shoulders beneath the blanket, curling her legs up to her chest. She was freezing. Normally Nathan would serve as her human blanket, but Haley didn't need him, she simply pulled the blankets closer to her shivering body. Haley stayed curled up like that for another twenty minutes before she unraveled and jumped out of bed.

She couldn't sleep, not with so many words and notes scrambling around in her head. Haley soon found herself seated at the piano bench; she took a deep shaky breath and let her song begin, closing her eyes, her fingers flowing over the keys blindly.

----------------

Nathan looked at the bottle in his hand, disgusted with himself. It was the middle of the night and he was sitting in the parlor, with a bottle of liquor for company. Nathan bitterly blinked away the emotion as he squinted, washing down another gulp, feeling the strong kick knock away his pain. He had tried sleeping but every time he closed his eyes, he saw her big brown eyes and heard her angel's voice singing out to him. She wasn't his angel. She wasn't his at all. A tear escaped Nathan's tight stare as he downed the rest of the bottle.

------------------

Haley had finally made it to Sunday. She felt a strange sense of freedom as she looked around Elizabeth's kitchen, a place that was completely free from subtle reminders of him. She was even smiling of her own accord, simply at the idea of her cathartic release last night. Haley had barely slept because of it.

"Is something troubling you dear? You look awfully worn down." Elizabeth asked while handing over a steaming cup of tea.

Haley turned like a deer in headlights, "No, I…um…" she stuttered.

"You don't need to explain, we haven't heard from Patrick in such a long time. I'm worried sick too. Don't think too much about it." Elizabeth soothed.

Haley's heart fell as the possibilities swirled towards her she felt her insides reach for her anchor, her stability, but found no support. She quickly placed a hand over her abdomen, trying to steady herself.

Elizabeth watched in slight alarm as the color left her daughter-in-law's face. She hadn't seen her quite so broken in months, "No need to linger on the thought anymore honey. How's Nathan doing?" She politely asked, trying to change the topic.

Haley subconsciously squeezed her side, "I don't know." That was honest.

Elizabeth frowned, "Don't you two keep each other company every day?"

Haley immediately shook her head, "Not anymore. I don't need him anymore." She insisted to herself and to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth sighed, "Maybe so, but he needs you. Haley, that boy was trouble before he met you. He's quite the gentleman now, and I think he's really grateful for your company. Don't push him away; Patrick wanted you two to be close. He knew you would need Nathan just as much as Nathan needs you. Don't feel guilty. It's okay."

Haley looked up, her eyes wide with a sudden sense of remorse and regret, "Thank you Elizabeth. I…I need to apologize to him. Do you mind?"

Elizabeth smiled at her success, "Not at all."

Haley's heart leapt forward, as she sprang to her feet. She kissed Elizabeth on the cheek as she mumbled goodbye, quickly exiting the apartment and hurrying down the street. She felt like a magnet being drawn without question or doubt or choice to it's counterpart. Haley didn't know what she was doing, but she needed to do it.

-----------------

Nathan was unfortunately sober, and the pain was eating away at him, as he rotted away on the couch. He had thought about moving and functioning several times, but it just never seemed worth the effort, until someone knocked on the door. Nathan thought about answering it, but he didn't move a muscle, until the person continued to knock, faster and faster.

Nathan made his way to the door after the aggravation had gotten to him; he pulled open the heavy wooden door to see his ghost. His angel. Her auburn hair shining proudly on her shoulder. Her red lipstick sugar coating her perfect lips. Her deliciously dark chocolate eyes, wide with a strange vulnerability. Nathan wanted to speak but seeing her hurt him too much, as his heart strained to stay in its place.

"It's not true Nathan. I can't do this life without you. I need you, and I love you. I love you more than I should but I do. And I need you in my life." Tears pooled in her eyes as her voice faded, "I love you."

Nathan clenched his jaw, barely reacting as he simply stared down at her, "I'm just supposed to take you back now? After what you said to me and what you've put me through, how miserable I've been. I'm just supposed to find you on my doorstep hear you apologize and take you back?"

Haley simply nodded, tears spilling over her eyelids. Nathan stepped forward and nodded too, pulling her small frame into his chest as he snugly wrapped his arms around her, the way they should be, "Of course. I love you Hales."

Haley pulled away, tear tracks outlining her cheeks as she cried out, "I love you Nathan Scott. I really do."

He let out a small sob of relief as he kissed the top of her head, allowing a few tears to fall as well.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

A/N: Hey guys! I cannot apologize enough for how incredibly late this chapter is. I am very dedicated to this story and love writing it, however I have had more work this year than I ever have before, and that needed to take priority. I hope you understand. But I promise, I will not stop writing this story, and I have been doing my very best to update it. For that reason, I didn't have my beta edit this, in interest to get it posted as soon as possible, so I apologize for any mistakes. I'm so sorry! Please stick with me. I promise it'll be worth it. The story only accelerates from here. Thanks guys!

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She traced her fingers along the rough hands she'd come to know so well. Haley's eyes were closed as they lay there in silence. Nathan's arms were wrapped around her waist, her securely nestled in his lap. She sighed, "I missed this."

"More than you can imagine." He kissed the top of her head. Nathan struggled with the words on the edge of his lips, "But Haley, what…what happens now?"

Haley sat up and turned to face him, a strange calm washing over her as she looked into his blue eyes, while their hands remained intertwined. "We stop fighting. We've spent so much time fighting this, and it's a battle we can't win. Patrick will come home and then we'll tell him and work it all out. But for now, we just won't worry."

Nathan nodded, but the worry didn't leave his face. Haley smiled and released her hand from his, stroking his face, "We can't be apart. We've already learned that. We just have to do the best we can with this situation."

Nathan leaned into her hand and closed his eyes, "I know, but Haley, he's my best friend. He's my only family."

"He's my husband Nathan. There's no way we won't hurt him. But if we try to stay away from each other until then, we'll hurt ourselves too." Haley ran her fingers through his hair. She could tell that he was internally struggling. She hesitated, and spoke quietly, with a new acute sense of vulnerability, "Do you love me?"

Nathan's eyes immediately shot open as he looked at her incredulously, "Of course I love you." He replied huskily.

Haley nodded, "That's all that matters." She leaned forward, placing her arms around his neck as she nestled into the crook under his chin. As the irreplaceable sense of home settled in, she knew she had to be right.

--------------------------

The mansion was not only extravagant, but extravagantly creepy. Every evening Haley walked from school all the way to the black iron fence, up the brick paths, all the way to the monstrous dark paned door. The contrast of the pure white snow collecting on the ground to the ominous house only added to the haunting effect. But it was their safe place. No one would catch or disturb them; the terrifyingly dark mansion was the light at the end of the tunnel of her day.

She pushed open the heavy door, and closed it behind her, as she stepped into the enveloping darkness. Only this time Nathan wasn't there to greet her. "Nathan?" She called. An eery silence settled. Haley shook her head, telling herself she was being silly. "Nathan?" She continued, moving about the house, not knowing what all the rooms were.

"In here!" His voice yelled back, making Haley's heart stop for a second. She followed it to a door with a golden handle, hung slightly ajar.

"What is this room?" She asked, looking about the bookcases bordering the walls, with a large oak desk in the center. Nathan was seated behind it, studying papers intensely.

He looked up and his whole face brightened, "My father's study."

She was immediately drawn to the books, twisting her head to read the spines, "I didn't even know you spent any time in here. What exactly are you doing?"

Nathan closed the papers and set them aside as he stood up and walked towards her, "I don't usually. But while we were…apart…" His voice trailed off as his face fell.

Haley cupped her hand around the nave of his neck, "You can tell me."

Nathan looked at her again, his eyes wide, "No Haley. Without you…I go back to this version of me that I don't like. It's not a person I'm proud of." He shook his head. "It's not someone worthy of you."

Haley shook her head as well, "I love you. All of you. Every version of you."

He paused, studying her face for a moment. "I love you too." Nathan whispered before walking away. He walked to the bookcase behind the desk and carefully removed a shelf. Haley simply watched in awe. He turned back to face her, "Which is why this isn't something I'm proud of."

She moved closer, peering at the space hidden by the faux shelf. Bottles. Lots of empty liquor bottles. "This is what you did? You drank all of your father's hidden liquor?"

Nathan nodded. "Every last drop. I was in a really dark place without you Hales."

Haley's heart fell as an ounce of guilt swayed through her like a ripple effect. "I'm sorry." She looked up at him.

He shook his head, "Don't be." Nathan walked up to the desk and grabbed the papers he had been reading when she came in, "Because in my desperate search to find his alcohol, I found these hidden with his favorite bottles of hard liquor."

She didn't follow, "What are those?"

"Evidence. You know my father's affair? It's information all about her, his other woman. Her name, her story, everything." Nathan dropped the papers back down, "I don't know what to do with it yet, but it feels better to have more truth."

"Wow." Haley simply breathed. "My darkness was just as terrible to suffer through. I felt like a crazy person. Absolutely insane with my constant cleaning and late night music writing."

Nathan raised his eyebrows, "Cleaning and singing is much better than drinking and snooping."

Haley laughed, "Of course, we both know I'm the good one."

Nathan nodded as he pushed the shelf back in place. "An angel. Will you play it for me? Please?"

Haley sighed and nodded, letting her hand fall into his as she led him towards the main ballroom with the grand piano. "A private concert." She gestured him towards the velvet chair positioned nearby. Nathan smirked and took his seat. Haley took a deep breath and took her seat on the black piano bench. She looked at him and smiled, before closing her eyes. Nathan watched the serenity of the music control her, it mesmerized him, watching her play. The way her entire body moved to the music, completely under the spell of the notes and the emotion behind the words.

_I love the time and in between  
the calm inside me  
in the space where I can breathe  
I believe there is a  
distance I have wandered  
to touch upon the years of  
reaching out and reaching in  
holding out holding in_

_I believe  
this is heaven to no one else but me  
and I'll defend it as long as I can be  
left here to linger in silence  
if I choose to  
would you try to understand_

_I know this love is passing time  
passing through like liquid  
I am drunk in my desire  
but I love the way you smile at me  
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near  
I believe_

Nathan smiled ever so faintly, as a warm feeling settled on him, recognizing himself in her lyrics.

_I believe  
this is heaven to no one else but me  
and I'll defend it as long as  
I can be left here to linger in silence  
if I choose to  
would you try to understand_

_Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free  
the mold that clings like desperation  
Mother can't you see I've got  
to live my life the way I feel is right for me  
might not be right for you but it's right for me  
I believe_

Haley's voice grew louder and louder, as her keys pounded against the keys as elegantly as possible, the emotion rising.

_I believe  
this is heaven to no one else but me  
and I'll defend it as long as  
I can be left here to linger in silence  
if I choose to  
would you try to understand it_

_I would like to linger here in silence  
if I choose to  
would you understand it  
would you try to understand_

Her angelic voice has faded back to its soft velvet feel until it faded all together. Haley opened her eyes and slowly turned to Nathan. She smiled vulnerably, "Do you like it?"

Nathan was at a loss of words. "That was beautiful Haley. All of it. The music, your singing, the piano, the words. It was breathtaking."

Haley blushed, "That one was inspired by you."

Nathan smirked as he rose from his seat, "Come here." Haley, still bright red, ran over to him wrapping her arms around his waist. Nathan pulled her away and stared into her swirling chocolate eyes, he smoothed out her auburn curls with one hand as his other secured around her perfectly shaped waist. He smiled at the reminder of how much she loved him. Nathan wrapped both his arms around her as he lifted her off her feet, his lips fiercely meeting her own, delving into the sweetness of her mouth. Haley's foot popped up as he slowly spun her around. By the time solid ground was beneath her heel again, she was lightheaded.

Nathan smirked again, "That one was inspired by you."

Haley laughed and as they walked hand in hand to make dinner in the kitchen, just for a second, she let herself believe these perfect moments would last.

-------------------

Haley couldn't help but smile as she looked at all the children running around in the snow. The little girls standing with their mouths hanging open, eyes closed, full of hope to catch a flake on their tongue. The little boys gathering on opposite ends of the playground, turning the gathered snow into little mounds that to them, looked like fortresses. She loved having playground duty. Recess reminded Haley why she loved children. The laughter and innocence yet the immense complexity of their simplistic actions astounded her. Just looking at the little boys battling between snow forts was all too similar to the war waging in the world outside of this safe fenced in one. The little girls waiting, full of hope, not taking matters into their own hands, was also too much of a reminder of a lot of women Haley knew. But they were just children, too young to see what she saw in them. They simply laughed and played and enjoyed their innocence, and so did Haley. She was perched on the lunch table, her winter coat keeping her warm, leaning on her knees while snow began to slowly frost her dark hair.

"Beautiful isn't it?" His familiar deep voice reawakened her. Haley turned to see Nathan, discretely standing on the other side of the fence, off in the corner. She instinctively smiled at the sight of his bright blue eyes but cautiously looked around before casually wandering in his direction. She kept her back to him, and fought the smile.

"What is?"

He leaned forward and whispered into the back of her head, "All of it. The snow. The playful kids. You. The snow in your hair."

Haley's body tingled at the faint yet strong feel of his warm breath against her cold, moist neck. "What are you doing here? This is risky. We're in public."

"I know. I was feeling brave. I needed to talk to you." Nathan smiled as he watched goose bumps appear on the nape of her neck.

Haley sighed, "It couldn't wait until this evening? I find that hard to believe."

Nathan knew he was crossing dangerous territory, and he knew he wasn't thinking clearly. But he knew that he couldn't. How much he loved her, made him sway and clouded his mind. Wrong and right became fuzzy, grey and unclear. Lines and boundaries seemed uncertain. But most of all, none of it seemed as important as how much he loved her. He traced a hand along the goose bumps on her neck, "Couldn't wait."

Haley's whole body quivered and her eyelids fluttered as heat rushed over her but before she could respond a little boy appeared in front of her, red in the face. She quickly came to her senses as she bent down, "What happened honey?"

He wiped his eyes as his chin quavered, clearly trying to halt his embarrassing tears, "My hands are scraped up." He held out two pink little hands, tiny red lines along the palms of each.

Haley grabbed them and gently traced her fingers over the scrapes. The little boy looked to Nathan, "What's that man doing Mrs. Parker?"

Haley didn't even turn to look at Nathan. "He's a friend who stopped to say hello."

"Why was he touching your hair?" The little boy was now staring at Nathan, making him shift uncomfortably.

Nathan smiled politely, "Her necklace was caught in her hair. I was trying to help Mrs. Parker untangle it."

"How did you cut up your hands like this?" Haley ignored the encounter entirely.

The little boy immediately forgot about Nathan, "I tried to run away from a snowball Bobby was throwing but I tripped and fell on an icy patch of snow."

Haley sighed and looked up at him, still holding his hands, "What's your name honey?"

"Patrick. I'm in Mrs. Ramsey's class." He explained as Haley's heart caught. Patrick. Little Patrick had caught Nathan flirting with Haley. She tried to brush it aside but it felt like an alarm was sounding in her head.

"Patrick, wash up your hands in the bathroom. Then go to the nurse." Haley smiled and patted his back as he nodded and walked inside the building. She sighed and turned around, much more serious than she had been before, "That was too close. Quickly, what do you need to say?"

Nathan took off his hat, and smiled, while whispering clearly, "Haley, I was hoping that you'd let me take you out tonight." He didn't smirk confidently, but rather looked away with an unusual vulnerability.

Haley hesitated, stuttering, "N-nathan, wh-what do you mean?"

He looked at her and shrugged, "I love you and I want to do this the right way."

She immediately shot him a look, "The right way? There's nothing right about us Nathan."

"I know. But I want us to be as right as possible. I want to take you on a real date. You deserve to be treated like a lady by a gentleman who loves her. Please?" His blue eyes pleaded, staring into her worried brown ones.

She looked around and then nodded, "Okay Scott. It's a real date. Now leave before we run into another Patrick. I love you, you daring fool." She smiled and then immediately forced it away as she turned around and called all the children back inside. Haley held the door, as each child disappointedly returned to the school building, but also watching Nathan walk away in the light snow flurries. She noticed the way he held his head up, and she could even see the huge smile on his face in her peripheral vision.

-----------------

"Nathan, it's-" She looked around the restaurant that she had dreaded going to only a short while ago, only now it felt like another lifetime.

"Where we met." He smiled, finishing her sentence. Nathan gently retrieved her coat off her back and folded it over his arm. She was wearing a simple black dress, the straps barely hung off her shoulder, and the fabric tight around her middle tightly, flowing outwards towards her knees. She was breathtaking, as always.

Haley was smiling bittersweetly as Nathan tried to catch the hostess' attention. She looked at all the people around; any one of them could be someone they know. Haley gently rubbed Nathan's arm as she whispered, "Maybe we should just have a nice dinner at home."

Nathan had been mouthing something to the hostess when Haley's hushed concern caught his attention. He turned and looked right at her, "No, you deserve to be taken on a real date, and I deserve to show off my girl. Come on, we get just this one night to pretend to be like every other couple in here."

Haley couldn't say no when he looked at her like that, his blue eyes pleading and his pure white smile dazzling her. She blushed and smiled, "Okay."

Nathan nodded, and grabbed her hand, "Good." The hostess motioned for them to follow her all the way to the darkest corner of the restaurant, hidden discretely by some well placed shrubbery and to the left of the stage curtain. They were perfectly out of sight, but not suspiciously so.

Nathan looked at the smile on Haley's face, it was small but bright. It didn't seem to be happiness that made her lighter tonight, rather a sense of carelessness. He hadn't seen her look that way in a long time. After selecting their wine, the waiter came back to ask for their orders. Nathan gracefully pulled Haley's menu out from her hands and handed them both to the waiter, "Two prime rib steaks please."

Haley laughed, which wasn't the reaction he had been going for. She looked at him and shook her head before turning to the waiter, "Just the macaroni for me." He politely nodded and excused them.

"Macaroni Hales?" Nathan asked, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

Haley nodded as she smoothed the napkin out on her lap, "Of course."

"We're at a formal steak restaurant and you order pasta. Macaroni even." Nathan laughed incredulously.

Haley giggled and struggled to stay serious, "Macaroni is the food of the gods."

"If the gods are five year olds!" Nathan exclaimed as he burst out laughing.

Haley held out her wine glass, "To a carefree night."

Nathan smiled and gently tapped his glass against her's, softly dinging. "To our perfect night."

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Nathan was never one to admit when he was wrong. Never. Not even when the truth was staring him in the face, but as he swallowed his mouthful of macaroni he shook his head, dropping his fork in defeat, "You win. That was delicious."

Haley beamed and clapped her hands proudly, "Thank you." She shrugged playfully. "So what do you have planned now?" She asked, looking at their cleaned plates.

Nathan smirked, "Did you know that every Friday they have an open performance stage?"

Haley nodded, Patrick had taken her here a million times for business, "Yes. Do we know tonight's performer?" She looked at the empty stage, as someone rolled a piano onto the stage.

Nathan studied her face carefully, "Do you have any of your songs memorized?"

Haley's face fell as her eyes grew wide, looking slowly from Nathan's smile to the ominous stage, "N-nathan. No. You didn't. I can't."

Nathan grabbed her hand and softly squeezed it, "Yes, you can. Haley the rest of the world deserves to hear your music."

She shook her head as she looked back to the stage. Was he insane?! Haley had never performed her music for anyone except for him. That was different. That was expressing herself in front of someone she loves and trusts. This was public and some of these people might know her. "What happened to being discrete?"

"This is your opportunity to be more than a teacher and a housewife Haley; take it! I know you can do this." Nathan released her hand.

Haley took a deep breath "You are in so much trouble." She muttered.

"Please welcome, tonight's first performer, Mrs. Haley James Parker!" The man in the tuxedo announced as Haley shakily forced herself to her feet. She slowly and gracefully climbed the stairs, stopping in the spotlight; she sat down at the piano, desperately trying to pick the perfect song.

Nathan wasn't the slightest bit nervous or even feeling at all guilty, he knew she would love this once she learned she could do it. Haley coyly smiled as she looked into the restaurant, "This song is called Come Away With Me."

Nathan's eyes widened with surprise and delight, he had been expecting her to perform the song he knew very well. Haley closed her eyes, letting her music fill her head, soothing her shaking fingertips as they lightly touched the cool white keys.

_Come away with me in the night  
Come away with me  
And I will write you a song_

_Come away with me on a bus  
Come away where they cant tempt us  
With their lies  
_  
_I want to walk with you  
On a cloudy day  
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high  
So wont you try to come _

Her eyes fluttered open, and rather than seeing the fear that had been dwelling there before, they were swirling dark chocolate. Haley was completely at ease.

_Come away with me and we'll kiss  
On a mountaintop  
Come away with me  
And I'll never stop loving you_

Her fingers gracefully fluttered over the keys, creating a touching piano solo, the whole restaurant was silent except for the sound of her small piano. Then her heavenly voice accompanied it once more.

_And I want to wake up with the rain  
Falling on a tin roof  
While I'm safe there in your arms  
So all I ask is for you  
To come away with me in the night  
Come away with me_

Her voice faded out as her last notes resonated off the piano, fading into complete silence. Haley shakily removed her hands from the keys, and the second she did the restaurant burst into applause. Even though he was invisible, Nathan stood up as he clapped along with everyone else, beaming with pride. Haley blushed and smiled as she was escorted off the stage. She snuck back to their table where Nathan instantly wrapped his arms around her, "That was beautiful."

Haley couldn't fight the smile on her face; she never expected to feel this amazing after publicly performing. "Thank you. You were right, I loved that."

"I knew you would. You have talent Haley." Nathan held her hands as he genuinely spoke.

Haley blushed again, "Now it's my turn to do something for you."

Nathan shook his head, "No, I'm rewarded enough just seeing you this happy." He looked at her glistening white smile that she couldn't get off her face.

Haley giggled, "Okay, then you can do something else for me." She raised and eyebrow as the next performer began to play.

Nathan nodded, "Anything."

Haley tugged on his hands, "Dance with me." She knew what he would say.

Nathan laughed and shook his head, standing his ground, "I don't dance Hales."

"I know but a slow song….for me?" She pleaded, continuously tugging on his hands. Nathan sighed as he let his feet follow her. They reached the dance floor, in the sight of the rest of the world for the first time all evening.

Haley coolly whispered instructions, "Put your arm around my waist, and hold my hand in the other."

Nathan did as he was told, gladly holding Haley close to him. He held her hand in his against his chest as her other hand rested above his heart. He hesitantly began to sway side to side, guiding Haley with him with his hand resting above the small of her back.

"This isn't so bad is it?" Haley smiled up at him.

Nathan shook his head, "Not at all."

Satisfied with this moment, Haley rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. She never felt safer than she did at that moment. Pure bliss surrounded her, the piano producing a soft beautiful song that seemed to float right over her, as Nathan's gentle yet strong hands secured her against him while they swayed in sync.

"Haley?!" Elizabeth's voice disrupted her peace immediately. Haley jumped out of Nathan's grasp.

"Elizabeth." Haley gasped as her heart stopped. This was the moment. The moment that she was discovered for the horrible wife she was. The moment she would pay for her bliss. Elizabeth moved towards her, and as Haley prepared to be slapped, Elizabeth extended her arms, embracing Haley.

Haley still paralyzed, stiffly wrapped her arms around Elizabeth. Elizabeth turned to greet Nathan with a handshake and kiss on the cheek. Haley's eyes were frozen wide open. "I saw your performance Haley."

Haley went from ghostly white to bright red in a few seconds, "Oh."

"It was beautiful. Patrick would have been so proud of you. And your lyrics were beautiful. Who could think my son could be so inspirational?" She joked as Nathan inwardly cringed. Patrick had never taken Haley's music seriously and he knew that Haley had written that song about him. Nathan clenched his fists in jealousy, trying to contain his rage.

"Thank you." Haley mumbled, forcefully smiling. She felt so stuck. Elizabeth had caught her in the middle of a romantic moment with someone other than her son. It had to be a sign; a sign that Nathan and Haley were doomed as a couple. A sign that she was not meant to be that happy with someone other than Patrick.

Nathan immediately stepped in, sensing Haley's panic, "I should probably get Haley home now Mrs. Parker. It was so nice seeing you."

Elizabeth smiled warmly, "You take good care of her Nate. Goodnight."

Nathan smiled back as he escorted Haley out the door, neither of them saying a word until the car pulled up to her townhouse. Haley was staring straight ahead.

"Hales, it's okay." Nathan muttered.

Haley turned to look at him, tears shining in her eyes, standing out in the dark, "No, it's not Nathan. Maybe it's a sign. There are so many signs that say that we don't deserve to be happy together." A few tears ran down her cheeks, glistening in the moonlight.

Nathan wiped them away with his thumb, "We're meant to be together Haley. Maybe in a different time or place. But no matter where we are or what's happening I'll love you. Always."

Haley leaned into his hand, "and forever." She sighed as she sat up and wiped her eyes, "Do I have to stay here tonight?" Looking at her little townhouse, it appeared as gloomy as the mansion used to look to her. Now the mansion was home.

Nathan nodded, "It might be a good idea. You haven't been home in a while."

Haley shook her head, "This isn't home. You're home." She mumbled somewhat shyly.

Nathan sighed, "I'll come over later. There's some things I need to do at Dan's place first."

Haley immediately felt comforted, "Thank you for tonight Nathan. It was amazing." It truly was, even with Elizabeth's startling interruption. No matter what happened from this point on, she knew she would always look at this night and remember how truly happy she felt, even if for just a few hours. And with that comforting thought, they parted.

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"Hello Mr. Durham. This is Haley Parker. I'm a friend of Coach Hamilton's. I wanted to speak to you about a basketball player I know. I heard you have some openings on your team and I really think he would make a great addition to your team." Haley waited while the older man talked, nervously twirling her wedding ring. She wanted this to work out for Nathan. He deserved to get his dream back, and she was willing to do anything she could to help.

"Of course, well he can come to your office sometime to talk to you." Haley quickly danced around her kitchen, franticly searching for a pencil to write the address down.

"Thank you so very much Mr. Durham." Haley hung up the phone and squealed looking at the address written on the paper. She took a deep breath and reached for the phone just as there was a knocking at the door. Haley sprinted to pull it open, seeing none other than Nathan standing before her.

His face was white as a ghost, his expression completely blank. "Nathan?" Haley's smile fell, immediately sensing something wrong. She reached out and guided him through the door, stroking his face, "Are you okay?"

He looked at her and smiled, "Yes, sorry. I have something to talk to you about."

Haley smiled, biting her lip, "I do too!" She was awful at containing her excitement. "You go first."

Nathan nodded slowly, completely in a daze. Haley's excitement fell once more as her stomach slowly turned. She had never seen him like this; it wasn't fear or concern or anger, just pure shock. He was stunned. She gently led him to the kitchen table, noticing a piece of paper in one of his hands. Haley studied his face as she placed her hand in his empty one. "Nathan, you're scaring me." She admitted with a small nervous laugh.

Nathan's brows were furrowed, "Do you remember how I told you about my father's infidelity?"

Haley nodded, the bad feeling in her stomach multiplied at the mention of Dan, "Yes. It tore your family apart."

Nathan nodded, now looking down at the paper, "And how he had one very serious affair on top of all the others? And I have a half sibling as a result. Well…I found his address."

Haley's jaw dropped, as Nathan finally looked up at her, his eyes glazed over, "I have a brother."

Haley stroked his hand, "Oh Nathan. I'm so sorry, what are you-"

The phone rang. Haley groaned. "Hold on a second." She impatiently jumped up to grab the phone, "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Mrs. Haley Parker?" An unfamiliar stiff voice asked.

Haley hesitantly replied, looking over at Nathan who was simply staring at the paper, "Yes, may I ask who this is?"

"This is the Veteran's Hospital. We're calling about your husband Patrick Parker. He was injured and is here in critical condition." The voice stated very calmly.

Haley's heart fell, "Yes, of course, I'll be right there." She barely managed to say audibly. Her shaky hand clicked the phone back into place. She stood frozen, unsure of what she was feeling, feeling completely unstable.

Nathan noticed the silence and looked over to her, seeing nearly the same expression he had been wearing, "Hales?"

Haley snapped out of it, immediately set into motion. She had to get to the hospital and be there for her husband. "I need to go."

Nathan called after her, standing up, "Haley, I really need you."

She felt the string tug at her heart as she looked back at him from the front hall, "Nathan, I'm sorry but so does Patrick." And with that she shut the door behind her.

Nathan stood speechless, until whispering to himself, "Patrick?"

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	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I have not forgotten about this story! I promise. Life is so insanely busy, but I'm on summer break now so I should have plenty of time to post regularly, at least, that's my goal. Please don't give up on me or this story, I have so many exciting places to take it and I'd really love for you all to see it come full circle. Thanks for understanding, please review and tell me what you all think! Enjoy!

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Chapter 13

Haley's heart was pounding out of her chest as she held her shaking hands against the knot in her stomach, trying to wrestle it away. She walked up to the nearest nurse, her eyes franticly darting around the hospital wing, wondering if any of the bandaged men were her husband, disguised by the various masks of injuries.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" The nurse smiled comfortingly.

Haley nodded, "Patrick Parker. My husband is Patrick Parker." Her voice was mangled and small, so unfamiliar from the blissful version of herself she had been only hours prior.

"No need to worry Mrs. Parker. Your husband will make a full recovery." The young woman placed a soothing hand on Haley's back as she led her down the nearest hallway. As a teacher Haley knew this act all too well, only this time instead of being the confident, calm and reassuring adult she was the small, frightened child being led to what she was most afraid of.

Haley's eyes widened in surprise, suddenly feeling foolish about the water swelling beneath them, "I thought…they said he was injured and sent home? He'll make a full recovery?"

"The best one possible." The nurse reassured her once more but before Haley could ask another question they had stopped walking right in front of room number 257 with the name Patrick Parker written right above the three digits. "You may go right in to see your husband Mrs. Parker."

Haley stared at the doorknob with apprehension, not terrified of what she would find on the other side but rather how it would shift her whole world, again. She felt the fear and dread well up in her as she slowly clasped her fingers around the handle. Her golden wedding band softly clinked against the metal, a subtle reminder of her duty and promise to Patrick. Haley blinked her eyes, mustering up the courage as she reluctantly entered the dark room, nearly anticipating the floor to fall from beneath her feet as her life would being spin once more.

Haley's eyes quickly adjusted to the dimmed lighting. The only source of light was coming from the blinds, painting stripes that subtly reminded her of the hope of the real world that was just outside the otherwise bland walls behind her. She looked at the bed; the figure lying beneath the sheets was perfectly still, eerily corpse-like.

"Haley?" A deep, strained and almost completely unfamiliar voice called as Haley took a step towards the bed. The sound of Patrick's voice was so foreign to her; she had lacked that sound in her life for so long but it immediately pulled the sense of belonging back to her core.

"Patrick." Haley gasped as she realized this corpse-like figure in the dark tomb was her husband, her best friend, her Patrick. Tears flew down her cheeks as she sat down on the bed, wanting to fling her arms around him but afraid to break the fragile creature. She instead carefully studied him, trying to get a sense of his injuries. The only visible sign of a wound was the bandage wrapped around his forehead covering down to his nose. "You're alive." She marveled at the idea, the idea that had caused her pure physical pain for so long.

Patrick smiled, "Haley, I never thought I'd hear your voice again. I wish I could remove this bandage to see your heavenly face too." His hands flew to the cloth and she watched his chin quiver with pain at the slight pressure he had applied. With horror Haley's own chin collapsed open as she realized what must be wrong with him, his eyes. At that moment, without any medical confirmation, she knew. Patrick was going to be blind; the lurch downwards towards her gut confirmed that she was right. Haley clasped her hand over her mouth as she silently began to sob, desperately trying to stop the tears running beneath her palms.

"Haley?" Patrick's voice edged with slight fear and uncertainty, pulling Haley back to reality. She immediately removed her hand from her mouth, pursed her lips shut and swallowed any remaining horror as she quickly wiped the lingering tears off her cheeks.

Haley firmly placed her hand in Patrick's slightly outstretched hand and curled her fingers around his, "I'm here Patrick, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You have me." Saying those words tore up Haley's heart but wasn't sure whether it was her heart that was breaking or if it was the fear of those words breaking someone else's.

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Haley did not let go Patrick's hand for the rest of the day. Not when the nurses came in to change his bandages, not when Patrick asked for a sip of water, and not when the doctor came in to tell them what Haley had already guessed; Patrick was going to be blind for the rest of his life. Her whole body was shaking except that one hand that harnessed all the strength she could muster as she desperately tried to somehow pass it along to Patrick. She felt his hand tighten with frustration and agony at the news but she did not complain of the piercing pain it brought her. Patrick had not cried, he had not sobbed, in fact, he had remained deadly silent and Haley mimicked his act.

"I'm blind." He finally muttered.

Haley inhaled deeply, struggling to resurrect her strength, "Everything will be okay Patrick. We will figure this out. We should be thankful you're even alive."

"This isn't living." Patrick bitterly spat out.

Haley recoiled from his words and closed her eyes, "We're going to get through this. Everything will be alright." She said as reassuringly as possible, despite that fact that she was well aware she did not believe her words any more than he did, but hoped that her genuine determination was close enough.

Patrick tore his hand away, "Everything will not be alright. I'll never see again Haley! You don't understand! I'll never be independent. You'll always have to take care of me like I'm some kind of invalid. I'll never be the same, nothing will ever be the same for me! Nothing will ever be the same for us!" He screamed.

Haley felt the tears resurfacing, he was right, only not for the reasons he thought. Yes, because he was blind, but also so much more. Because she was not the same woman he'd left those many months ago nor was he the same man who'd gone away. Because they had not been the same since that moment. Because she was torn between duty and love. Because nothing will ever be the same for them because she was in love with another man. Because the other man is his best friend. Because she loved Patrick in an entirely different way than she was supposed to. Because she desperately wanted to support him and help him cope but could barely cope with her own struggles and fears. Haley knew her husband was right; nothing would ever be the same for any of them.

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Nathan had not moved from the kitchen table the entire duration that Haley was gone. He was paralyzed, battling with his crippling and conflicting emotions. Nathan was recovering from the stinging slap he felt when Haley chose Patrick over him. He also knew this was foolish, when he was not in a hospital in God knows what sort of condition yet somehow it still hurt all the same. Nathan practically held his father's infidelity in his hand, and yet the only thing his mind could focus on was Haley and Patrick and what this meant. They had known this day would come, either this day or a day neither of them wanted to see, because no matter how much more complicated things would be now they both loved Patrick very much and had both prayed for his well being. Haley and Nathan had never discussed what they would do, having realized that this would never lead to a set conclusion that resulted in a happily ever after for all of them. No matter what they did someone would get hurt, or maybe all of them.

Nathan was interrupted from his thoughts at the sound of a door clicking shut. He jumped from his seat to find Haley frozen by the front door. They both stood silent for a minute. Nathan was quickly absorbing everything about her, looking for a sign of what she was about to say. He took a step towards her and she fell apart.

"He's blind." Haley cried as she started to sob. Nathan pulled her into his chest, cradling her sobbing body against him, his own hurt temporarily forgotten. Haley released all of the sadness, despair, fear and weakness she had bottled up for Patrick. Nathan kissed the top of her head before Haley could pull away.

"What happens now Nathan?" Haley asked like a small child in the wake of a tragedy.

Nathan sighed, "I honestly don't know."

Their mutual silence reflected their simultaneous conclusion.

"I guess we tell him as soon as possible and hope for the best." Nathan drifted off, thinking out loud.

"What?! No! Are you crazy?! No! He's fragile right now…that…that will break him." Haley's tone changed from alarm to a concerned whisper almost instantly at that thought.

"Haley, he's blind. Sneaking around is even more wrong now since he can never actually catch us. We have to tell him." Nathan refused to hold something right in front of his eyes when he couldn't use them, it felt as cruel as screaming at a deaf person.

"Not yet." Haley insisted. "If we tell him now...I'm telling you Nathan, after what I saw today, that will destroy him. I don't think he could ever recover. We need to wait until he gets his bearings a little. Please."

Nathan wiped his hand across his forehead in frustration, "So what do we do until then Hales? Are we just going to share you? Take turns like you're some kind of toy?! Continue to go behind his back while he's standing right in front of us? He's my best friend. Regardless of everything, he is the closest thing I have to family. I can't do that to him."

"It's already done." Haley whispered, knowing that that was not what he wanted to hear.

Nathan clenched his jaw, "I mean it. I can't."

Haley could feel Nathan's temper and frustration rising, so she calmed herself once more as she gently stroked Nathan's cheek until his clamped jaw muscles began to relax, "I will be there for Patrick because I love him and because it is my duty as his wife. You will be there for him as his best friend because you love him and because it is your duty to him as his best friend. And as soon as Patrick is stable, we will tell him."

"You make it sound easier than it's going to be." Nathan sighed.

"Everything is going to be okay." Haley insisted once more, hoping that her repitition of those words would make them more concrete.

Nathan shook his head, "No, no it's not."

After another mutual silence, she leaned her forehead against his, with both hands on his cheeks, "What have we done Nathan?"

Nathan closed his eyes as he rubbed his hands over her arms, "We had no control. We fell in love with the right person at the wrong time."

"If our love is so wrong, how can it possibly feel so right?" Haley's voice cracked as she struggled to maintain composure.

Nathan gently held up her chin, waiting for her deep brown eyes to melt his icy blue ones, "No matter what world we lived in, I would always love you Hales. No matter the circumstance, nothing could ever stop me from that. Not the strongest army, not the fiercest warrior, not the biggest storm, not the worst disaster, not my worst enemy, not even myself. I would always fall for you. And I will. I will always love you. Always."

Haley blinked her eyes shut, feeling her body swell the familiar warmth of the words she needed to hear most, "Always and forever." The words that alone could put the pieces back together, that could remind her that the world was still spinning no matter how off kilter it fell, to put breath back into her lungs and hope back into her heart.

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They had been standing outside of the hospital room door for at least half an hour still arguing, "Please Nathan." Haley begged.

"Hales, I…I just don't think I can handle this. I don't know what to say." He confessed in a hushed voice, mindful of the nurses and hospital staff around them.

"This isn't a stranger. It's Patrick. It's your best friend in there. I know he wants to see you. Please, if you're not going to do this for him, do it for me." Haley pleaded with wide brown eyes.

Nathan sighed, "I'll do it for Patrick, that's enough."

Haley smiled and nodded as they both entered Patrick's room. Nathan could immediately sense Haley's presence as he observed the open windows, letting sunlight fill the room corner to corner while a vase of yellow and blue flowers enjoyed bathing in the warmth. Haley knew Patrick could not see them but she hoped he could at least smell the flowers, smell the sunlight and outdoors. She didn't care if Patrick could not see the natural happiness these items brought but she hoped he could at least feel it.

Patrick's arm was outstretched, his face drawn tight, clearly struggling to reach something. Nathan looked from his hand to the paper cup of water only inches away. Patrick's fingers were only a few centimeters away when he accidentally overreached and when he drew back spilled the cup. Patrick cried out in frustration and messily swiped his hand over the area, sending the cup flying across the room. Nathan's heart fell to the floor as he could practically feel the frustration radiating off Patrick in intense waves.

Haley finally spoke with her light, angelic voice, "Patrick, honey, let me get you a cup of water."

Patrick jumped, "Haley, I didn't know you were here."

Haley was already pouring the pitcher of water into a new paper cup, "I only arrived a minute ago. I brought someone with me though." She smiled as she very carefully handed the cup to her husband. He took a sip and held it out back to her, and Haley returned it to the bedside table. Before she could step away Patrick's hand had found her waist and pulled her to sit beside him, his hand resting around her waist and in her lap, his wedding ring gleaming in the sunlight.

Nathan's stomach curled at the sight as a fierce wave of jealousy rushed over him. He clenched his fists against his sides, trying to squeeze the emotion out of his veins with no luck.

"Who is it?" Patrick asked in a much lighter tone than before.

Nathan realized this was his cue as he awkwardly stepped forward and forced a smile, forgetting that it didn't matter, "It's good to have you home Patrick."

Patrick smiled, "Nathan!" He extended an open hand.

Nathan hesitantly shook it before stepping back again, exchanging a hushed glance with Haley. Patrick was still smiling, "How has my girl been? I hope she wasn't too much trouble."

Nathan swallowed his guilt, "Not at all."

"That's my Haley." Patrick beamed once more.

Haley's stomach twisted terribly, feeling as if she might vomit, she quickly excused herself, "I'll leave you two to talk." Haley patted Patrick's back and shot Nathan a forced smile before darting from the room as politely as possible.

"It's really good to have you back." Nathan re-emphasized because despite the fact that he truly meant it, he couldn't seem to make it sound as if he did.

"It's good to be back." Patrick nodded in agreement as his smile faded. He cleared his throat, "In all seriousness, I um…I can't thank you enough for taking care of Haley. It means so much more to me than you can ever know, and um I'm not one for words but…" Patrick was fighting to not choke up, "If you ever need anything, I owe you. I owe you everything. Thank you. Thank you so much."

Nathan nearly fell off his feet, "No, no, really don't thank me. I mean it. You don't owe me anything at all." This was almost too much for him to handle. Nathan was desperately trying to maintain his balance as he felt the seemingly sturdy ground betray him.

"I really do. She means everything to me and I can't even explain how much it helped me to know that someone I could trust was taking care of the most important thing in my life while I was out there. Thank you." Patrick said with the utmost sincerity.

"She's an amazing woman. You're a very lucky man to be able to call her your wife." Nathan could not bear to utter anything but the truth for fear of collapsing completely, and at the moment that was the only truth he could find.

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Patrick had been moved back into the house for a week now and it had been the longest week of Haley's life. Every minute of every day was a struggle between her heart and her conscience. She could not even tell whose side they were each on, constantly scattering back and forth between the two men, and her head was a circus trying to figure out which one to listen to. Patrick was still learning how to function with a lot of frustration and Haley had not seen Nathan since Patrick was sent home.

Haley was interrupted from her thoughts when she heard a crash upstairs. She sighed with exhaust as she collected herself, "Patrick, are you okay?"

"I can do this on my own!" He hollered back.

Haley felt the tears rising beneath her. She knew that he was not mad at her but Haley simply did not know how much more she could endure. She missed Nathan desperately, she was confused, she was lost and scared and unsure of absolutely everything. Haley felt unsafe, and insecure and she knew the only remedy was one she could not indulge in.

"Nathan?" Haley's small voice cried out over the telephone.

"Are you okay?" Nathan's voice sent a small wave of comfort down Haley's neck.

Haley shook her head, "No. I miss you." She whispered.

She heard him groan, "Hales."

"Please, come over Nathan. Please." She begged, without any attempt at masking the desperation and her yearning for the safe haven of his arms around her.

The long silence and then click of the phone on the other end was the only answer she knew he could give her. She hated this. She hated the way this agonized Nathan, the way she could feel the weight it placed on his shoulders, and the pain in his voice. He was a gentleman, a man of honor, duty and respect and this betrayal went against everything he stood for. She hated herself for being weak enough to selfishly ask this of him. But quite frankly, she ached for him so much it was blinding pain to endure another minute without him.

Haley blinked until the moisture left her eyes as she took a deep breath and forced her head up. She looked at the piece of the paper next to the phone, Whitey Durham's address and telephone number. Nathan deserved more than this, he had other places to go in life. He had dreams to fulfill and Haley was in no way going to let herself get in the way of that.

Nathan didn't even have to knock twice before Haley swung open the door and flung her arms around his waist and nestled her head in the crook of his neck. She inhaled his scent until it filled her lungs and she suddenly felt whole again. Nathan tightly held her small frame against him, missing the way her small body fit perfectly against his own. She completed him in every sense. "God, I missed you." He quietly breathed into her hair.

She pulled away and stared into the blue eyes she missed so much, "Where have you been?"

Nathan's eyes almost literally faded into a darker blue, "Anywhere but here."

Haley's breath hitched as the words pricked her heart, "Why? You're welcome here."

Nathan laughed incredulously as he rolled his eyes, "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. This is my home. I say you are." Haley insisted.

Nathan shook his head and slowly pried her hands off of his face and held them against his chest, his thumb rubbing over her wedding ring, "This is your home with your husband, Patrick."

"Nathan.." Haley didn't understand why this suddenly made a difference, they had spent countless nights in this home.

"Your husband, my best friend, is wounded and trying to learn how to cope with that. I wasn't going to come here and distract you from him." Nathan paused, gaining the strength to mutter the words that burned his lips as they left his mouth, "He's more important now."

Haley was well aware of her husband upstairs, and their hushed voices were a reminder of that. But seeing Nathan's brow furrow and his jaw clench with hurt tugged at her heart. She shook her head, "That's not true."

Nathan nodded, he had accepted it over the past week, "You wish it wasn't but you know it is. Ever since Patrick's been home, you've always chosen him over me." She opened her mouth to protest but Nathan immediately put his finger over her lips and stroked her chin, "That's how it should be. He's your husband."

Haley was frozen, she didn't know what to say. She couldn't argue that. But that didn't mean she didn't love Nathan with every single piece of her body. So, which was more important? The promise she made to her husband, for better or worse? Or the undeniable overwhelming love that pulsed through her veins with every beat of her heart for his best friend?

Nathan laughed to himself as he let go of her face and rubbed his hands over his eyes, "What were we thinking Hales? We don't have a shot in hell."

Haley moved closer, "Don't say that. We're going to...we can.." She desperately wanted to believe in the words that were coming to mind or to find the right ones, the ones that fit, the ones that brought relief and hope. But they didn't emerge from her lips.

When his eyes resurfaced they were glossed over, and his brow furrowed as he gritted in pain, "How are we supposed to make this work when I can't even touch you without thinking of him or look at you without your wedding ring staring at me?"

Haley's voice quavered, "What do you want from me Nathan?! I don't understand what you're asking from me. What am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do?"

"Haley? Is that Nathan?" Patrick's voice behind her caused Haley to jump in place as her heart restarted. Nathan stepped out of reach from her just as quickly. She turned around to see Patrick trying to find his way down the stairs. Haley immediately ran towards him only to have him shrug off her outreached hands. "I can do this myself," he muttered.

Haley looked back to Nathan who was swallowing his pain and quickly wiping away his tears. "It's good to have you stop by Nathan." Patrick politely smiled as he made it down the last step.

Haley looked between the two men, feeling her internally being pulled apart between them. Nathan quickly responded in a dark voice, "It's good to see you doing well but I was actually just leaving." Haley turned to Nathan in surprise at his short response and lack of composure, but as she searched for his eyes she couldn't find them. Nathan did not look at either of them and simply walked right out the door.

Haley stood, paralyzed with shock and a reinstilled fear. Patrick spoke after a minute, reminding Haley that she was not the only witness to Nathan's breakdown, "What's wrong with him?"

Haley muttered as the tears began to flow down her cheeks, "He got his heart broken." She prayed that her voice would not fail her and remain steady.

Patrick sighed, "Nathan Scott has a broken heart? I never thought that would happen."

Haley nodded, still looking at the doorway Nathan had escaped from, "I never wanted it to."

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Nathan stared at the bottle resting in his lap. He had been debating whether or not to down it for the past few hours, it's not like he had anything better to do. Nathan had no life. He did not have a career anymore, not since his father abandoned him after his knee surgery. He did not have a family anymore, not since both his parents abandoned him and he apparently has a half-brother that he's never met but why involve the poor man in the awful life of a Scott. Nathan Scott had never been one to get attached, he had learned that the hard way. But the one time he did, the one time when what he was attached to meant more to him than anything else in life, more than anything he could ever imagine, something so incredibly important that it made all of the hell he went through worth it if it meant he got to have this one thing...he lost it. Nathan Scott only had this dark empty mansion and the full bottle of liquor in his lap. But he knew that no matter how much he drank, no matter how numb he felt, it would still hurt more than he could bare. The pain ran so deep into his bones that even the slightest thought or reminder pinpricked him and spread throughout his entire body, traveling to his very core like a ripple effect. Nathan was drowning in the agony, his eyes red from sobbing silently to himself. He was so consumed by his own pain that his senses were too distracted to notice the steady hum of rain rhythmically surrounding the house. The loud, frantic knocks on the door however did catch his attention, as the smallest flicker of hope lit up somewhere he had buried very deep within him.

Haley's huge brown eyes were the first thing he saw as the rain water poured down her cheeks, her auburn hair a deep dark brown shade from all the water. "Hales?" His voice cracked.

Haley shook her head, "Oh Nathan."

He looked away, slightly ashamed, "What are you doing here? How are you here?"

Haley ran her hands through her hair, "I told Patrick I was going to come check on you. It's the truth."

"The truth." He repeated, it was an idea that seemed so foreign and evil as well as remarkably proper and good.

They stood in silence for a minute, both staring at each other with no sound but the rain hitting the world around them. Haley finally spoke, "The truth is, that we're doomed. We always knew, we just never wanted to admit it." She bit her lip to compose herself.

"I know." Nathan finally allowed himself to say, though it sunk his heart as he did.

Haley nodded, the tears brimming, "Patrick is someone we both love very much. He's a brother to you and you're not the kind of man who can just ignore that. Patrick is my husband, and I do love him. I truly do and I promised him I would be his wife until the day I die. But the truth is, I don't love him the way I love you." Haley stopped as her voice choked on the anguish of the words that were about to come and the painful truth of what she was saying. The truth ripped through her entire body, spreading like a poison, slowly seeping into the core of her bones.

Nathan didn't flinch, he knew what was coming. This moment felt unreal, it felt like a horrible nightmare. So Nathan stood in shock and horror as he racked his brain for the solution. How could he make it stop? How could he prevent this moment? He stood like a statue as his eyes filled with tears that he refused to release. "This is the end, isn't it?"

Haley's wide brown eyes were full of sorrow as tears streaked her cheeks, "It's the end for us, but not for you. We don't have a future, but you do. I left an envelope in your mailbox for you. Please read it, you deserve to have happiness in your life and you deserve to have your dreams come true. I only wish I could have all of that with you. And I can promise you that I will spend _every_ second of _every_ day wanting that. You will never know how much I love you Nathan. But I can't live with myself knowing that every moment I spend with you is another knife in Patrick's back. I know you're his best friend, but I think it would be best if..." Haley's voice quavered until it shrunk entirely, "...if you never came back. I can never see you again. This has to be goodbye for us, but this time, forever."

A wave of an instinctive, almost primal, urge to wrap his arms around Haley surged through Nathan's body at the thought of never seeing those eyes again, of never hearing her laugh, never running his hands through her soft curls, of never feeling her sweet lips dissolve into his. The list sprinted through his mind, seemingly never-ending. The tears in his eyes were collecting like a waterfall, and each thought added more pressure, leaving Nathan on the verge of bursting. He wanted to scream, to cry, to yell, to punch something, to passionately grab her and kiss her as if they would die a second later. But Nathan didn't even blink, "Goodbye Hales."

Haley's lips trembled as she let out a sob, "Goodbye." She forced herself to turn around, requiring all the strength and courage in her body as her feet seemed to cry to remain anchored. She slowly began walking back into the pouring rain. Haley didn't notice the pounding pressure of each raindrop, only the pounding of her heart as it fell apart with each step she took away from Nathan. She didn't understand the heartbeat strongly resounding in her chest. Hadn't her heart realized there was no reason for it anymore?

Nathan watched her walk into the storm, as helpless and vulnerable as a small child, as his entire future walked away with her. Maybe Haley was right; maybe Nathan did have a future. But he knew that he didn't want one without her in it. Once he could no longer see her Nathan shut the door, his arm feeling disconnected from his body. He was numb, entirely. Nathan walked, ghost-like, to the dark living room. He collapsed in the armchair as his knees buckled beneath him with ease. Nathan stared blindly for a moment, all he could see was Haley's eyes the last way he would ever see them; glistening with sorrow. Rather than spending eternity with her, those eyes would haunt him for every second of it. Nathan went to take a breath and as he did he felt a sharp pain in his chest as he gasped for air. The floodgates in his eyes opened as Nathan gasped and heaved, until he crumpled downwards, weighed down by the crushing despair wrapping around his whole body. Nathan Scott was suddenly aware of how truly alone he was, and now, always would be.

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	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you all so much for all your kind words, support and encouragement! I know that chapter was a rough one to come back with but I absolutely love where I'm taking this story, so please stick with me. This chapter is an especially short one, there's only one spoken sentence in the entire chapter, but every word is crucial to the storyline. As always, tell me what you think and enjoy!

**Chapter 14**

To anyone who had been around Haley Parker for the past three months she appeared to be the perfect wife. She was attentive, sweet, dependable, considerate, understanding, patient, polite, strong and beautiful. There could be no doubt or confusion in that. It was all clear in the way she behaved in public. But the way she cared for Patrick behind closed doors, when no one was looking, was what made it geniune. And it truly was. Haley lived to make Patrick happy. She lived to be a good wife to a good man. But she was dead in every other sense of the word. What Haley was doing every day of the past three months was nothing more than survival.

The best part of Haley's day was the first four seconds. Those were the four blissful seconds that she expected to see Nathan asleep by her side when she turned in the bed. The four seconds that her day had hope, happiness and a bright future. But one second more and it was all gone. It took one second for her to remember the night she walked away and the tears in his eyes. It took one second to turn and see a face she was not in love with. It took one second for her heart to break all over again, as it always did, never failing to rip her apart just as much as the first time, every single morning. From that point on, the rest of the day was simple surviving. Learning how to cope with the pain. Having a goal helped, so Haley completely and entirely dedicated herself to making Patrick happy and caring for him to the best of her abilities.

For that reason, no person could call her a bad wife. But no person had any clue as to what she was feeling all day. She missed Nathan more than she ever thought possible. She felt like a fish out of water, a person without lungs choking for air, a bird without wings. Each beat of her heart felt like a beacon, desperately calling out to it's counterpart, never receiving a reply. Haley felt empty and emptier every time she thought of him, until it felt like there was nothing left of her to lose. Until one day, once more in her life, everything changed.

Haley had a new reason to live; the life growing inside her.

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Anyone who didn't believe in ghosts had not seen Nathan Scott for the past three months. He spent each day in a daze, rarely moving let alone leaving his house. He had lost it all. Nathan defined a broken man. To assist him through the day and keep himself safe from his own thoughts, Nathan turned to alcohol. It relieved him of the blinding pain he spent every day battling. The liquor numbed him so that the pain, though always present, was a little less pronounced.

Nathan had attempted to leave his house one brave day, but it had been a major mistake. He'd hoped for a distraction. Anything to take his mind off of her, however, upon stepping out into the sunlight everything seemed to be screaming her name at him. Every time he blinked Haley flashed through his eyes, blinding him with the beauty of the image of her in his life. Nathan had even tried sleeping, just as a way to pass the torturous, pointless, long, and endless days. But he couldn't close his eyes without seeing her, and he couldn't lay in silence without hearing his mind painstakingly struggle to recollect all it could about her. His mind replayed memories like a broken record, wanting to relive a beautiful moment but never able to recreate it again. And once Nathan finally succeeded in sleeping it only made waking up more hellish. He dreamed of everything he couldn't have but so desperately desired; her.

One time, Nathan tried to think of a reason to wake up anymore. He tried to think of his purpose, of where his life could take him, of what was worth living for now. But all he thought of was her. So Nathan turned to his father's alcohol, letting it slowly hollow him out and watched it waste him away. All that remained was a fragile skeleton of a man. Until one day, when he realized a new way to relieve his agony while serving a purpose.

Nathan opened his mailbox that morning to see an address and telephone number of a 'Coach Whitey Durham' written out in her unmistakable eloquent handwriting. Suddenly the paper burned his hand, causing him to instantly tear the paper apart. It didn't matter anyways, nothing did. Nathan had not played basketball in a long time, not since his knee gave up and his father shortly thereafter. Basketball had been his first love, and like his last, it too had been robbed from him.

Nathan knew what he had to do, it was the only way to serve a purpose, to give his miserable life any meaning. His life was over, but maybe he could finish it in a way that was purposeful, useful and probably less painful than watching himself rot away in his own misery. And though Nathan would never admit it, in some twisted way, it would be dying to protect her. Which was more than worth sacrificing himself for. Nathan did not flinch as he approached the man in uniform, "I would like to volunteer for combat in the army."

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